It's harder because people online are more accepting of people's sexuality, if I post here that I like older men people are fine with it and when I talk to people in the illuminati/esoteric facebook groups, they say it's fine and just don't mind at all, they tell me it's normal, they are fine about it but these people are not like the average person. If you post on a gay forum that you are gay, people are accepting of it because they are gay/bi themselves, if you post online in groups with introverts usually they are fine with it. I find that introverts are generally nicer people, if you're going to be hated by anyone for your sexuality usually it's going to be an extravert, people online don't mind about being gay/bi but in real life I think this is different, maybe I have lower expectations for people in real life but I find that everyone online is so much nicer, when you step into the territory of the "Sheeple" you meet some really horrible people, they are traditionalists so they are going to have a problem with something that is unusual. When talking to people from real life, I find that they are much more stuck up than people online, my family are not too bad but the middle/upper class people around my area are always talking about people behind their backs, I've had much trouble in work, they gave me hell, no person online would even insult me unless an argument broke out, but they don't hold a grudge, in real life it seems like a lot of people hate me, at work I used to be backhanded by the boss, told I was useless by workers, talked about behind my back, people got jealous because they thought I was rich, people called me a cocksucker, I'm always belittled and made to feel worthless, last year I was feeling damn low, extremely low and those people made me like that. Online they seem to have different values, they talk from their heart, they are deeper people but in real life it seems different, most people have apathy to how you feel in real life, online you can find supportive people, all genuine people. It's not the case with real life, I've become quite cynical to people in real life, I've had my stuff stolen, burgled etc. I was always bullied at school, made to feel like a loser because I was single (because I don't fancy young girls), even in groups people turned on me, my friends would make me feel like this in groups as well and were constantly feeling the need to control, I was always told "I should be like this", it's like I'm not good enough and I need to change. Now with coming out in real life, I have a feeling that people are going to say that it's wrong, they're going to belittle me whenever in groups, talk about me behind my back etc. They aren't deep or understanding at all. Yes coming out is something I will probably have to do but I just don't feel good about people slating me for it. I think one of my friends know I'm bi, so he got a bi friend around one night, the guy was trying to touch me up and wouldn't leave my place, wasn't listening to me or respecting that I wanted him to leave. Do you see? When you come out to people online, things are fine, no big deal whatsoever, but in real life a guy would stop hitting on me, nor respecting that I didn't fancy him. People realized at work that I fancied my boss and would say things behind my back, they weren't supportive at all, the bossed slapped me one day flirtatiously then he looked at us like we were weird. And plus, older people are more homophobic, these people offline that would find out in their mid age would see it as weird, it wasn't accepted in the past, so they aren't going to be happy with it, because they are straight and married they seem to think that they are superior, anything that's not traditional is frowned upon, my judgemental sister would call me a pervert, my mum would tell everyone, my other sister would say something, acquaintances would say stuff about me, I'd have the reputation of being weird. I had told a different friend in real life that I was bi and liked older men, then instantly he said I was a freak, now he won't talk to me. There is much more decent people online than in real life, the people that surround me in real life are sheep, these people online are deeper, understanding, have better values, they don't pull people down constantly like people at work. But yeah, I find that older people are much more intolerant, younger people are more laid back and fine with it, older people are traditional, if you aren't married and straight they don't like it, young people just think of it as a laugh, they don't mind, they are more open minded and tolerant, so it's easier to come out, not so much in real life though, I've met some horrible people in real life. I can just imagine thinking to myself yeah they'll be fine with it then once I tell them they'll tell everyone behind my back, they'll think I'm weird and try to change me, try to tell me to be "normal", tell me it's wrong or force me into finding someone. They are concerned with my love life now and always trying to tell me to get a girlfriend, to be like them. I will need to come out one day, but at the moment I don't feel it's right. I'm slowly starting to care less about what people think, people have always judged me so maybe this won't make any difference, I've got to be sure that I like older men though, I do like watching older men have sex in videos but in real life having a relationship with one might be different, I might not feel it's right for me. Maybe I will date an older woman some day but I feel more comfortable talking to men at the moment, I'm kinsey 4-5 now as well.
That is quite a life you live at the moment. But what I think what will give you some hope, is to understand that you are the one picking your friends. Online you look for groups that would fit who you are. When you do that you find people that are accepting of who you are. But you sought out that group, weather it was intentional or subconscious. In real life you can have the same exact experience, you just need to seek out those who are more understanding. Now I know that in your day to day life you cannot escape those you work with or have to interact with. But you can keep that to a minimal. You simply just need to seek out like minded people. There are even jobs out there that have groups like that. You just need to look, it will not be easy and most centrally it will be a journey. But in the end it will be worth it, and you will be writing a very different post.
One of the reasons that people online tend to be more accepting of being gay is because the majority people on the internet are younger and so part of the newer generations which are less and less brought up with homophobic values. The fact that you have so many people in your life who are causing your grief for your sexuality is saddening, and I'm sorry to hear about that. If people are mistreating you in the workplace because of your sexuality, you can bring up a discrimination case if you so desire, as this sort of behavior is very wrong and can carry consequences for those involved. When it comes to friends and family, coming out can either be a very positive or very negative experience. On the one hand, some of your family may be supportive and can provide you with the moral and emotional help to keep you going. Sometimes though, as you've seen, people can be very unsupportive and it will often be the case that it's best to cut these people out of your life if you can. They are going to continue to be a source of negativity and are going to give you nothing but grief in the long run until they can learn to be supportive. Try and find some more people who love and accept you for who you are, I'm sure there will be people out there. Good luck with coming out to people if you choose to, and hopefully things go well.
I think my close friends will be fine with it, but they may tell other people. I'm speculating over what people's reactions will be.
