Hi all, Up until recently i have always considered myself as straight. I have had no interest in other guys in the past and had never thought about anything different. About a month back my best friend came out to me as bi and at first this surprised me. He had several girlfriends over the last couple of years and it seemed quite out of the blue. Being pretty open minded about people in general it didn't bother me at all and just brought us closer as friends. I asked him what made him decide he was bi and he told me he took some time to think about and spoke to people online and found that it was just how he felt. Several weeks later he had a relationship with a member of my school which ended sour and I helped him through it. He told me things that had happened that would take real courage to tell and i respect him even more for that. Anyway back to the point. Over the last few weeks I had noticed him acting strange around me and caught him looking at me and swiftly turning away. It felt like he was checking me out. Now many people would say I was vain but I don't have a lot of confidence when it comes to talking to girls and I wouldn't consider my self as hot (all boy schools can be really off putting at times). Several days later I was staying round at another friends house and so was he. We were sleeping in a tent so I guess you could call the space cosy. Anyway during the night I awoke to find his arms around me and I had no clue what to do. I tried moving about and he moved too still with his arms around me. Next day unasked him about it and he admitted to thinking I was bi / bi curious for I guess not shoving him off. I told him I was fine with it and to forget about it. The only problem is now that I think back on it I didn't mind him hugging me at all. I'm not sure if this makes me bi curious or not but the more I think about it the more I realise I 'like' him. I have little to no interest in other guys and I'm just really confuse as to what I think. I know I like him and I've accepted that it's just I'm not sure how to go about telling him. I'm also not sure if I want to label myself as anything just yet seeing as I'm only 16. Please help I just want to know what to do.
If you're interested in taking things to the next level with him then i'd suggest telling him how you feel. To start off with i would talk with him about the night in the tent. Let him know that you didn't mind when he had his arm around you. Be honest and tell him exactly how that made you feel upon reflection. Also let him know that you're not sure that you're ready to label yourself as bi but that you may want to explore it. It is also possible that due to the fact that he's your best friend, and that you never picked it before hand, that his coming out to you has made you question your own sexuality. You may see some parallels with your own life but it is entirely possible that you could actually be straight. You've mentioned that you've never had any thoughts about other guys before, or even considered it. I would urge you to give some thought on how you would feel with a male partner. Just in general, with no one specific. Is it something that you could see yourself doing?
If you like him, I'd say you're at least bi-curious If both of you consent to it, it's ok to experiment a little. That's how you'll find out what your orientation really is. I also think that a lot of people enjoy receiving affection from someone they trust, regardless of their orientation. Everyone wants to feel loved and attractive and accepted. I've heard a term called "heteroflexible" before...
Just go for it! It could turn into something that you might like. As they all say: 'tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
Hi guys, I've organised to meet up with my friend tomorrow along with a few others (who all know he is gay). It's easy enough for me to talk to him alone at my house but I'm not sure how to start. I know now I want to tell and hopefully before school. I'm just not sure how to start. I also know he will be cool with it as i explained in my first post it's just that I'm very good at hiding my emotions by joking about almost anything (mainly myself). I'm it sure how seriously he'll take me at first and I know I only have the courage to tell him once before I bottle (I'm quite good at embracing yolo). All tips will be appreciated. Bambi
Set the tone well at the start, it will be what decides the conversation. If you start off calm and serious, your friend will know that the conversation is meaningful to you. If you start by joking, then he'll expect that the conversation will be the same. A few good phrases go along the lines of inquiring if you can tell him something / reveal something / get something off your chest. Avoid joking or nervously laughing until after you've said what you need to say, and then see how he reacts. From what you've said, he'll probably offer support and be very open to talking about it and embracing it.
Maybe try having a friendly conversation with him before-hand, make him think of you more when you tell him "the big news" Looking forward to hearing how it goes! Good luck!
I'll be sure to let you all know how it goes. The community on here is amazing an soo supportive. Thanks all
Also if you could give me some advice as what to do if A. He accepts me or B. he thinks it's weird and gets cross ( unlikely) I know for one he is going to think this is very out of character as i normally listen to him and keep myself to myself (despite acting confident I'm really quite shy). And I'm not sure how he will react to the real me. As I said I've acted confident with all my friends about stuff I find easy (sport, dares, and even things that really bother me like heights, which through years of acting like an idiot I have become quite good at dealing with). In short if you could tell me the next step that would be great. I'm cool with most things so just shout it out!
I would suggest that you sit down with him alone, not with a group of friends, and have a casual conversation with him about the tent incident. Just tell him that while you weren't expecting him to have an interest in you, you enjoyed it when he put his arms around you, and you wonder what he is feeling about you, if anything. I would stay away from "labels" and just tell him about how you feel about him and see what he says. It doesn't have to be awkward at all as long as you start by talking about "what happened" already, and ask him what he was thinking at the time. You have to hear what he says to know how to respond to him. You also have to decide how YOU feel about him, and how much of it to tell him. Think of this as just a conversation between friends about feelings, and leave all the sexuality labels for later. If he denies having feelings for you then just say OK, and tell him that you were uncertain about what the incident meant and just wanted to clear the air so that no one's feelings get hurt.
so I told him and he was totally cool with it. thank god. and the rest i shall keep to myself :icon_wink thanks for all the help guys!
