Hey everybody, I have come out to nineteen people to date, including my family, and it feels great to have made it past that huge barrier of finally telling them. It was really hard for one night, after I left my letter, but my dad has come around and I think it's bothering him less now. My mom and I still have a good relationship, like we always have. She asks how I'm doing more often, which is a sign that she cares. But I don't want her to worry too much about me, like it's a bad thing. We don't usually talk about my being gay directly, or at all, really. She expressed interest in telling some of her friends, I assume because she wanted to talk to someone about it. I have three siblings. I have an older brother who left for college a few days ago. I have a litter sister who will be a freshman in high school. I have a little brother who will be in 5th grade. None of them know. I have good relationships with my older brother and sister. It's just going to be hard to find the right time to tell my older brother now that he's in college. I'm also scared to tell my little sister, because I don't want to relive that one night or feel it coming back. I feel like he'd be surprised and not know how to respond, while she might already know and would be totally okay with it. I don't really want to talk to my parents about it, because it makes me so uncomfortable. I don't really know what to do. Not worrying about my little brother, as of yet. That's a project for a different date. Now, on a different frontier, I have one main group of five friends (plus me). I've told three, with only positive responses. I know that the other two would be totally accepting of it in time, but I can't bring myself to tell them. One, who is a guy, I have been friends with since kindergarten. We've been best friends for ages. But, I can't tell him. We're good friends, but we don't usually talk about our feelings much, so it's been harder to think about telling him. Also, to reveal something about a friend for so long would just kind of shake everything. The other, a girl, is just really sweet and innocent. She and I are always on the exact same page about everything, and I really do like talking to her. But I can't bring myself to tell her either. I don't even know why. She hasn't really been through a lot in her life, so I don't know how she'd take it. I know with 100% certainty that she would be accepting, but it would just make things, I don't know, weird for a while. I don't really know what to do. We're going on a trip to the beach all together this weekend for a few days. Should I try to tell them then? How can I bring myself to tell them? So, half check-in, half asking for advice, but there's my spiel. What do you think? Thanks for reading, as always.
Hey congrats on the progress. You may want to tell your other two friends because they may be hurt you told some and not the others. I know the feeling that you have to tell everyone but remember it isn't a race just come out when it feels right.
Thanks. I'm going to try my hardest as soon as possible. I owe it to them to keep them as updated as I can. And I feel comfortable enough. It's just... hard. To actually go through with it. I mean I've done the big one: told the parents. But I still just get nervous every time I get close to telling them.
