I've begun the process of coming out as transmasculine to the people in my life and in my online circles, and it's not helping me feel any better. I actually feel worse, as though coming out reinforces the reality I'm facing. I haven't seen my therapist in weeks due to scheduling conflicts, but I do have one. How can I make this easier on myself? Any tips until I see my therapist in a week? Even knowing that someone else out there feels this way would help. I go in waves of feeling relieved about knowing who I am, and then feeling like a broken freak of nature. It's hard to express in words, but I've never felt quite so badly about myself before. I'm afraid of what will happen to my sanity if my lows keep getting worse.
Hang in there. I've experienced highs and lows when coming out too, sometimes simultaneously (wow, I feel great that I said that- is she looking at me funny - omg I've marked myself as DIFFERENT from all of the straight people here). You might need to take a break and take some time to yourself. Do something that you enjoy that will take your mind off the stress. Also, when you find yourself thinking that you are a freak, make a point to remind yourself that it's not true. Tell yourself that being trans is ok, that coming out is brave, and repeat it to yourself until you believe it! It may feel silly, but it gets you out of the downward spiral of letting the negativity take over your thoughts. I wish I could say more. Are there particular reactions that you are getting that are making it difficult for you. Has anyone been notably supportive, especially in your real life? It stinks that you can't see your therapist as soon as you need to, but try to be strong.
