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introducting my boyfriend and coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by markosss, Aug 27, 2014.

  1. markosss

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    Is it a good idea to come out when I introduce my boyfriend to my family??i think its better that way because i will have someone to support me! I find it awkward just telling my parents i preffer boys over girls.they are not much homophobic, they only laugh when they see a gay couple.
     
    #1 markosss, Aug 27, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2014
  2. HM03

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    Even if they're not homophobic, this might not be the best idea. There's the shock and it's always different when it's their son, not somebody else's. And sometimes (as stupid as it is), parents might search for someone to blame (ie he turned you gay).

    It's up to you, but maybe just casually meantion liking a guy or something, without your bf there, so he won't awkwardly be standing there, or get yelled at if something goes wrong :slight_smile:
     
  3. OGS

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    I don't think it's a good idea. While I think there being a boyfriend can make things easier--I think for some people it makes the whole thing more real and potentially positive--I don't think he should be there when you tell your parents. While obviously this is about you, it really also is something that is happening in your parents' lives--something fairly major and possibly fairly unexpected. I think it is respectful to let them have at least the initial moment in relative privacy--at least not having it involve someone they don't really (or at all) know.
     
  4. Lexington

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    I think telling your parents you have a boyfriend - without him there - is a fine way to come out to your parents. Introducing them to him as your coming-out forces him to be the "buffer" between your parents and you, and that's not very nice.

    Lex
     
  5. Yossarian

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    IF I were your boyfriend, I would not want to be there when you come out, but I would want to meet your parents AFTER you come out and they are receptive to meeting me.
     
  6. Typhoon

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    Too much information to take in. Bad idea, as romantic as it sounds.
     
  7. AAASAS

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    Ya, I would not be there. I hate being the elephant in the room with a passion.
     
  8. markosss

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    Thanks everyone! I will come out without my boyfriend. But should I tell them that im dating a guy or that im gay? Because they maybe think that he turned me gay :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  9. Dryad

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    You've said that you live in a rural area, so people will probably know each other. If your boyfriend isnt out of the closet, it's better not to mention anything about him because your parents might ask who he is.
     
  10. Yossarian

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    ^^^ This is very good advice if your boyfriend is not out himself.
     
  11. markosss

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    I will come out to my parents first and then see what happens. If they react well I will tell them that im dating someone.I will tell them who he is only if he agree with that. Thanks everyone :slight_smile:
     
  12. Kj802

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    Like many others said come out without you boyfriend there, and if all goes we'll than introduce him later. By the sounds of things I think your parents will be accepting, good luck!!
     
  13. BobObob

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    From what I've heard, often when people come out by introducing their boy/girlfriend to their parents, the parents will blame the boyfriend for making their son/daughter gay (as if being gay was a bad thing). So I think it's best to come out a little while before telling them you have a boyfriend.