I hate everything about myself inside and out. As most transgendered people do I hate my body having a shower to me is absolute hell I can't stand my body I wish that I would never have to look at myself again I hate my personality I am a complete wuss I can't just come out and tell everyone about me because I am too scared I am a complete coward and can't everyone how feel about anything I hate being alone sometimes I think about horrible stuff when I am alone and it scares me that I can think about such things and it scares me that sometimes I think about doing them I hate myself because I can't handle thing on my own and that I have to post this message I wish I can actually do someting for my self for once instead of getting everyone else to do it for me. I don't want to continue like this I want to stop hating myself and thinking the dark thoughts I don't want to cut myself any more I just want to be normal
I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself. You've already admitted you have a problem (hating yourself) so I think the next step you should consider is seeing a therapist. I know many people think seeing a therapist is making it sound like they're crazy. I'm not referring at all that you're crazy. It would be good talking to someone in confidential and getting all your emotions out. That's what their there for. Don't take it out on yourself. Seek professional help. There's nothing wrong with wanting a little extra help from someone. Cutting yourself is not going to solve anything and make things worse for you. You should try to control that part as best you can. That's the best advice I have for you. I hope you feel better soon and get the help you need. Best of luck with that. And remember, we're all here for you. (&&&)
Gerry has hit it right on the nose. I think you should speak to someone about this. And, really really try to stop cutting. (*hug*) (*hug*)
I agree that you should really find a professional to talk to. Also, you might be suprised how many people have strange thoughts and ideas going round their head. What's important is that you haven't given in to any harmful thoughts, and that makes the world of difference. Remember there is always hope (*hug*) I really advise you to find a therapist. Maybe to start with you could ring Childline (do you have that in Australia?)
In australia, there is a special phone service called Kidshelpline and there is also Lifeline. You can find either of these numbers in the phone book and they are free of charge. Also, I am always here if you ever want to talk about cutting yourself. When I was a little younger, I was shockingly depressed, and I cut myself too back then. And then one day, I just cracked and everything just came out, and I quit it cold turkey. And it was HARD. Every time I was alone, all I wanted to do was cut myself. But I made sure I had people around me all the time, and that If I was having a bad day, or a bad moment, I would remove myself from the situation. I walked out of a few classes. I walked out on my parents a few times. But I made sure then that while I was alone I wasn't doing anything that could let me hurt myself. I have a wonderful close friend who has been through what you are currently going through. I will try to get her to come online soon to talk to you; you're not alone. *hugs*
Thanks for the comments I am not sucidal but sometimes I wish that I could just go to sleep and never wake up and have to deal with any problems ever again
Hey there my fellow Aussie! There's always someone out there that can relate; talk to someone. You don't have to tell the world everything, but sometimes telling just one person can help heaps.
