Well, as I'm open around the streets, my family doesn't know. They're bigoted. My dad is the only one who knows and doesn't care. He wants me to come out soon and I agree. It's time. I'm starting college now. I just need advice. How do I take in the insults, or denial I'm surely going to receive?
You might be surprised as far as extended family. If mom and siblings are bigoted, you have dad on your side. For my immediate family, I simply have my brother as an ally. You have the "king" piece.
i come from an extended bigoted family. they used to be scared of me hanging around my cousins at the time because they thought my hard of hearing was "contagious" and give various diseases because of that. later on the years, they, short of warmed up to me and said i was a part of the family. they also learned what really causes the conditions that they had and felt bad for mistreating me. until i came out as a gay man, my sister casually mentioned that they were extremely religious and can possibly discriminate against me even further, even my own parents. from that moment on, i learned that either they can take me for what i am as a person or not. i live my own life for myself and no one else really (that might change when i get a boyfriend or something). when i came out to my parents, of course they still are a bit shocked but they warmed up little by little. not sure if the rest of the family knows but they stopped talking to me and i'm okay with that, because i don't need anyone else telling me what i should be, by their standards. what i'm trying to say is this, even if it's one person that doesn't mind or care about the fact that you're gay, they can be considered a big ally, and in your case it's your father. he must be thinking a lot about it if he wants you to come out already to the rest of your family. you can always try to be a smart ass if they want to insult you or go play the religious card, it doesn't really take too much if you look into these things. i'd say be mentally prepared for it. life is always some kind of gamble and this is one of them. would you rather live in the closet and regret not coming out sooner or would you rather come out and take whatever discrimination that you have coming against you and become a stronger person? that kind of stuff, it's a lot to think about. you can always expect the shock. with that, i wish ya luck and hope this kinda helps haha.
Like the self-confident man that you are, with indifference to the insults if there are any, and patience with those who are in denial until they accept reality.
You're strong, no matter what happens. Coming out to your whole college orientation of freshman is a story I will never forget.
I read the following quote by greatwhale on another post on EC now too long ago and I think his are wise words: (...) the thing about rumours is that they have a shelf-life, there may be talk for a while, maybe even lingering talk among those colleagues of yours who may be a little more obsessed with your sexual orientation (heck they could be closeted themselves) but generally speaking, people will eventually get back to their urgent, busy lives and they will soon forget about it. When you get back to work on Thursday, let them see and hear you, stand tall. Your body language should give off a confident attitude, greet everyone in a full and assertive voice, ask your colleagues, face-to-face, not by phone or e-mail, what's been happening since you've been away and show genuine interest. You may feel fear and embarrassment, but as comedians know, never let them see you sweat. Pump yourself up before walking in to work, look up, not down at the floor, and look people straight (as it were) in the eye. If they have any "attitude" towards you they will soon cower and avert their eyes, as cowards generally do. This is what pride is all about. Take this no-prisoners attitude (straightforward no-nonsense kick-ass confidence) and YOU can actually have control over how they react to you! They cannot beat you down without your consent I hope this helps
