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Regret coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Tommytom, Aug 31, 2014.

  1. Tommytom

    Tommytom Guest

    Hi there,

    so over the past year or so I have come out to quite a lot of friends and also to my family as being gay. I have always been attracted to guys, so this obviously made sense. But since coming out, I feel as though I essentially 'pushed' myself into the gay label too fast, before I was ready. I mean when I came out I hadn't even had any experience with guys.

    There is quite a lot of pressure, if you are attracted to guys, to label yourself as gay. At least, that is what I have felt. I would prefer to float in the sea of ambivalence for a bit longer, and actually let myself explore my sexuality in person rather than it being all just academic. This is difficult though, as I have already come out as gay, it is pretty darn difficult to retract that in any way without there being some big big question marks and everyone just thinking that I am in denial.

    Sigh....... so complicated.
     
  2. Jguy365

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2014
    Messages:
    161
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    Location:
    Fort Wayne, Indiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I know what you mean. When I first began coming out, I thought that I was bisexual. I told so to 10 of my friends, but, days later, accepted that I am gay and not bisexual...so now I have to come out to them all over again.

    The important thing here for you is to just be yourself. Forget labels and stereotypes! I know that I definitely don't fit the mold of a standard gay guy. That's okay, though. You don't have to be flamboyant to be gay. Just be yourself. It's good that you've accepted that you are attracted to men and have been able to come out. Coming out is the hardest part, and you are done with it. Embrace the fact that you do not have to hide your same sex feelings. Just be yourself! You don't need experience to know. I haven't had any, but I know that I am gay. Be who you are.