I found out on Thursday that my best friend has about a week left to live. I don’t know what I will do with out him. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I’m sad that he is dying but I’m happy that he doesn’t have to suffer anymore. He’s been really sick for a long time. Now I feel horrible because I’m happy that he is dying. I have to deal with his impending death and I have to take my GQE tests this week. I can’t reschedule them and I found out on Wednesday that I only get one chance to pass them while everyone else gets two. It seems like every time my life seems to be getting back on track something horrible happens and then I fall off the wagon and go back to my bad habits.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be very hard for you and all of his friends and family. Remember that you have us on here to speak to about this, as well as the advisers if you want a private chat with somebody. You will also have other friends going through what you're going to go through when he passes on. Losing friends is never easy, but use the knowledge that his final days are here to give him a lovely time. Don't feel horrible that you are are happy for his death, because you are not happy for it. You are simply seeing that his suffering is going to end, and are looking at it in as positive light as it can be. As for the tests, don't worry. In fact, if I were you I would not even be concerned about them. your biggest concern should be spending some quality time with your friend.
I'm not sure about that, Invisible... Spencer, you're a student (as I am), and as such need to study. They are very important. In fact, it's your future career you're talking about here. You're friend is dying.. I'm very sorry for that, and I can understand how you're feeling. Believe me, it's not easy to lose anybody. But guess what? There are some good things. 1. You know that he's not going to suffer any longer. For that, you should be thankful. As already mentioned, do not believe that you feel happy BECAUSE he's dying. You feel happy because THROUGH his death, he'll no longer feel any more pain and suffering. Those are two very different things. Never get them mixed up. 2. Study. Study for your tests as hard as you can. You know why? Because your friend would not want to know that because of him, you have failed some of the most important exams in your life. Do you realise how horrible he would feel? Do you want him to know that his leaving this world has possibly ruined your future (or at least severely disrupted it)? In fact, I'd tell you to look at it this way. Study. Study for your future. But also, study for your friend. ~~~~ That's my advice, spencer, I hope you take it. =)
Spencer, what a tough thing to go through especially at 16 years old! Don't feel guilty about the end to your friend's suffering. Just go tell him how much you love him and that you will never forget him. Then study, study, study for that test. (*hug*)
Don't feel guilty that you feel that way. You are probably more relieved that he will not be suffering anymore. If you have a chance try to see him and tell him how you feel. It will be good for him that his friend went to see him and for you. If you can not see him for some reason (not too sure of all the particulars) write him a letter and give it to his family at the right time. This will be therapeutic. Then study for that exam. I bet your friend would want you to live on with your life and do well. If you need us at all we are all here for each other. (*hug*)
I'm not sure what system you have, but where I live you can apply for special consideration when you're facing unusual or extrordinary circumstances in your life. Have a chat to someone in the know at your school and find out A.S.A.P., it could give you the time you need to grieve and prepare. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, but I'm hoping for the best for you. Stay strong
I must reiterate that if you don't feel up to studying, then don't do it. And it is (in my opinion) much more worthwhile to spend time with your friend than to be sitting in front of a book in hopes of a better grade. Overworking yourself in a hard time will just cause more problems. And like Vector says, exam boards are required to take into account personal circumstances. I've been in a similar (yet slightly different) scenario, and I know that studying would have never done me any good. The exam boards noted this after a letter from my school and heightened most of my grades. It all depends on personal circumstances and how you feel. But in your situation, being with your friend and staying strong is so much more important. The last thing you want is the added strain of feeling the need to do well in exams. Please don't feel you need to get sparkling grades in these exams. Of course, this is just my opinion, I just felt I should explain why I feel how I do.
Whatever you do, don't feel guilty for being thankful for his passing. I know what is like to see somebody go through that pain, that suffering, do not feel guilty. He is not going to be in pain anymore when he passes away, he is no longer going to be suffering. It is okay to feel happy that he is going to be free from the torment that life is putting him through, you would not be human if you didn't want his suffering to end. Your friend will be proud of you, for being able to let him be at peace. You should study. Study real hard, its what your friend would want, i'm sure he doesn't want his friend's lives to be stopped and changed for him. We are all here for you, i hope you get the chance to tell him every thing you want him to know, its unbelievable how much easier it can help the grieving process, and we are all here to talk to about this, or anything else, at any time. My thoughts are with you and your friend. I really hope that his passing is peaceful. Good luck with your exams too, do it for your friend if not for yourself. Love, Marie Xx
(*hug*) deffinatly check if you can reschedule because of this. it is very imporntant to spend time with your friend right now. it is also very important to study, if you cannot reschedule. feel free to talk to me whenever. im almost always availible. (*hug*)
I got a call from my friend today. We talked for a few hours and reminisced over all the shenanigans that we have gotten into over the years. We also made plans to go out for dinner and a movie. That is if we can even get into the movies; we got kicked out for laughing too much during the Exorcism of Emily Rose and for making inappropriate comments when we went to see the Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian. He is surprisingly okay with it. I thought that he would still be sad but he isn’t. I think he is just trying to be brave so everyone else won’t be as sad. He told me not to worry about him and to focus on the GQE. I told him that I would, but I will try to get it rescheduled. The guy that runs the school district is a family friend so he will take care of the rescheduling.
Everything has already been said. As for your tests, theser truly are trying times for you; I'm not sure if you have it in America but if you do, try and claim Misadventure for your studies.
I don't know if this will help at all, but try to spend as much time as you can with him. A few relatives of mine have died in recent years and I've felt guilty just because I didn't speak to them that much or wanted to do whatever with them the last time I saw them. Either way, one of you will be feel better just a little after that. I really hope I don't sound desperate or whatever, but you can always call me. I gave you my number on your wall. I'm only saying this just because I can't see or hear someone go through pain like you've been saying. Hope things turn out for the better for you soon.
All the advice I could give has allready been given so i'll just say how sorry I am for both of you and also if you dont feel like studying dont, all that will happen is u will be thinking about your friend and wont learn so then u waste all the time you could spend with him and making him happy. Dont completely neglect your studies, just dont ignore your friend either. once again I'm really sorry and if u eva need any support im sure we will all be here for u
(*hug*) I'm so sorry. I would say that I know how it feels, but I don't. I want to say that right up front. As it is, I have thoughts for you. You are treating him to something special. I'm glad you're doing that. I'm sure he appreciates the love you show for him. Study when you can't be around him--when he spends time with his family, for instance--if you can't get it reschedule. I'm so sorry; remember that us advisors and moderators are here for you to talk to, even if you just want to go on forever about, well, anything. (*hug*)
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Don't feel guilty about it. It's best he's not suffering any more. I'm glad that you got to speak with him; enjoy your time with him. We're here for you. (&&&)
