I recently came out to a couple of close friends which was probably one of the scariest thing I have ever done in my life, but they still love me and we are closer than ever. Before I start telling more people, I really want to come out to my parents because I really don't want to feel like I'm pretending to be something I'm not whenever I talk to them. But I am scared out of my mind. I feel like I can't just abruptly say "I'm gay" out of the blue and I also don't want to start out the conversation with "I have something that I want to tell you" because I really don't want them to get worried that something is wrong. So can anyone give any advice on how to start to conversation to tell them that I'm gay because I have been racking my brain and I just can't think of how. And every day that goes by I really can't stand that I have to hide this from them. When ever I start thinking about how I'm pretending to be something I'm not I get this ache deep down that hurts so bad, not because it's physical pain, but because I can't visualize a future where I will be open and happy. And not being able to see a future where I will be together with my family and boyfriend all in the same room together for the holidays or any other occasion hurts more than any pain that I've every felt. Everyday I feel lost in a dark fog that I can't seem to escape. So please, I really need someone's advice, how do I start the conversation with my parents and what advice do you have on coming out to your parents.
Before I give an actual answer do you have any idea what your parents views on such things are? If you dont trying leading the conversation with some LGBT news and gauging their reactions.
So far my parents seem to be tolerant of homosexuality. They aren't crazy supportive of the LGBT community, but they aren't against gay rights. Every now and then, I do hear some mild homophobic remarks, but these are the ones that have been instilled through society, so they might not even realize what they are saying could be hurtful.
Maybe try building up to coming out over a period of time where you might try and discreatly let them know your stance on the subject whilst swaying them to the more enlightened side of the spectrum. When the time is right and you feel comfortable you can them come out to parents who would be much more open to the idea. Then again they might support you right away and the above would be pointless. It does feel like a huge burden off your shoulders when you come out to parents who dont care, Even if they think its a phase you can still be confident that they have been warned should you bring a bloke home. I havent come out to my brother yet however when I do It shall be done with cake and sometimes a more light hearted approach can soften "the blow". It sucks to hear but in the end only you can know when the time is right. (*hug*)
