...I've had a crush on my best friend for a long time and no one knows, right now its just getting to the point where I have to tell someone - I wanna tell him to maybe break this weird tension between us when we are alone at his house or my house (He would've had to have picked up on it by now, all I do is stare at him.) The thing is, I'm terrified of his reaction, I don't think he'll be so angry about me being gay but I know he won't like hearing I have a crush on him. I just don't know what to do, and it sucks. :icon_cry:
Well, Rio, you'll find that you are not alone in that feeling. I think that virtually everyone in this forum has or is currently having a crush on a friend. Still, I will speak for myself, and out of my personal experience. I wouldn't go all the way telling him you are gay and you like him at the same time. It'd be quiet a lot to handle for him. You don't say if you are out to anyone, still, for what you say I'll assume you are not. Coming out could be one of the most wonderful experiences in you life, if you do it to the apropriate person, in the apropriate time. If you search this forum a little bit (some of my posts could actually help you) you will find that not only you are not alone in those feeling, but that they are also going to pass eventually, or not, but you will learn to live with them, to live with yourself. If you have the time, I think you should take a good look at the other posts, there is one that is speacially similar to your situation: 'should I tell him?' it was called. Anyway, I can tell you right now that I understand you and that in my experience, you get over these things. I have a crush on a guy, well, it's kinda complicated, but the fact is that I am slowly (REALLY SLOWLY) getting over him. It's true that it takes a great deal of energy from me, but I am getting over him. Just do what you feel, bottled up feelings are bad for you, so you have to let them out, in some way. Speaking to someone you trust could help you do that. Perhaps you have another friend that can listen to you, and that knowing both you and him, is in a better position to give advice.
Pretty much what goratrix said. I would say... oh, 90% of young queer people end up with secret crushes on their best or good friends. It's to be expected: who do you normally fall for? Unless it's simply a lust thing, people usually fall for people they know. The thing with queer youth is that it usually is that much more intense because it has to be a total secret, which makes already stronger feelings that much harder to deal with. (Repression is the best way to strengthen feelings, I've found.) I think if you can find someone to just talk about being gay with, the crush stuff might not feel so overwhelming. When you're closeted, everything is a much bigger deal than you might otherwise find it because you end up in this kind of hyper state and that starts bleeding over into everything; it's not like feelings are well-known for respecting proper boundaries. *grin*
They couldnt have said it better. I've been closeted all my life and finally came out this year to two people, a best girl friend and the best guy friend I've had a crush on for a long time and still do actually. Like they said before - you'll know when you tell him. And as for getting over him, itll take time. Good luck, we're here to listen and respond! My thread, My twisted dilemma..., shows how I went about telling my crush and trying to get over him if that helps..
