I'm not really sure i want to go through the motions of coming out. My family are very controlling and judgmental people. Any time they fell they aren't in control of a situation, they easily try to manipulate the situation until it suits them. I want to run away. Graduate from high school and go to the farthest college that will accept me. I dont want to face the music and tell my family who I am, when I dont understand who I am. Im not ready for any of this. I'm lost, confused, and sometimes find myself angry because I feel like my life is just being taken through a challenge of life, a hard one. Liking women is not accepted by everyone where I am from. And I'm too much of a coward to just ignore it until graduation. So I'm choosing to hide in my shell of comfort, and behind my books. It beginning to be too much and i dont know what to do anymore.
How long do you have until you graduate high school? When you do, will you be able to support yourself throughout college? Or are you relying on your parents' financial help throughout college? These are somethings you have to ask yourself if you're fairly certain that your parents would kick you out. I'm sorry that it's like that, but it is. Anyways, unless you're actually in a relationship with another girl, why do you feel like you have to? Oh, and you're not a coward. Just coming here is very brave. You can't just do everything at once, you got to take steps sometimes. I hope that everything goes well for you, and good luck! <3
Prudence is a virtue, and knowing when and how to come out is part of that. If you think that coming out right now, still living with your parents and depending on them financially would be dangerous to you, or cause you to be kicked out, then it would be wise to wait until you are in a place where you can take care of yourself. And like Ashe said, you're not being a coward in not coming out to them right now. Sometimes, it can be more courageous in holding onto a truth and living with that pain for the time being. I've only been here for a short while, but this is a good place to vent and talk from what I can tell. Do you have any friends IRL that you can come out to? Maybe talking to someone face to face about this might help ease some of the pain about not coming out to your parents right at this moment?
It's up to you whether you want to come out or not, but if you don't come out it will be hard on you to keep up the charade for long. How long do you have till you graduate high school and can get your own place?
I have another year till graduation. And sadly throughout high school, they havent been my best years. I have only started making up for my mistakes this year (11th). So the aid of my parents will only be necessary. I always felt that telling them would be one other reason they would have to put me down and proclaim me as the problem child they never wanted. I feel like an outcast everywhere...My family, school,and among the little bit of friends I do have. I have a hard time admitting my feelings outloud. And when I get the lest bit of courage to do so, no one would understand or they would hardly even be listening! Its so hard for me to sit there and be quiet as a mouse as my friends would speak about there problems and know inside I have wanted to tell them mine so badly. But no one listens. A few of my friends know, and they didn't believe me when I first told them. I guess they thought that I was trying to be like everyone else. Before I had mentioned that Liking women is not accepted by everyone where I am from. Well, kids would come to school and declare their love for women and then next week would have a boyfriend she was so deeply inlove with. And everyone would believe these girls! Over me, one would kill for someone to listen to me, someone to believe me. Why is it so easy to believe a lie, a cry for attention-unneeded I might add. But hard to believe your friend, someone you have known since forever. The only person that I have told that believes me is my cousin, she is the closest thing I have to a friend now. She is in Virginia for school so I cant speak to her much,but she is cool with it. I still cant talk to her about it because she doesnt understand. Much like everyone else around here.
