I've wanted to come out for a while now, I know my friends will accept me because they accepted my friend when he came out, but I'm way too anxious to come out. I've suffered with anxiety for a while, I'm seeing a psychologist at the moment but can't talk to her about it because she is homophobic, because once I talked about how I was bullied and called a lesbian when I was a kid (true story) to test whether she was one to come out to or not, and she said, and I quote, "They called you a lesbian? I feel filthy even saying that word." So I opted with not. But not being able to talk about it to her is even more difficult because the reason behind my depression and anxiety is because of my sexuality.. not because I'm ashamed, but because of how my parents are homophobic and how I've heard about other people, as well as my parents speak about homosexuals negatively. I remember sitting in McDonalds with one of my friends and her mother and Ellen was playing on the TV. The mum suddenly speaks up, "I don't like her." So I asked why and the only reason this woman disliked Ellen was because she was a lesbian. That was the day that made me realise that people f:***:ng suck. It was utterly shattering to hear that some people are so nit-picky when it comes to LGBT people and can't EVEN look beyond that. I think because of all this negativity towards LGBT people, more specifically homosexuals, I have had to hide myself from others to the point where its grown on me so much that I can't break through it anymore. My anxiety keeps creeping up on me every time I even think about coming out, I'll be happy with who I am and feel confident one minute that I'll be open and honest then -BOOM. Anxiety. :tears:
Hi, Would suggest you get another therapist! They're supposed to be neutral and this situation won't do much for helping your anxiety. It does seem as if anxiety and depression is linked to being closeted. You need to be able to speak with a therapist openly about this. Afterwards you will feel a lot happier. I'm also very afraid about coming out. It takes bravery and when you have anxiety and are lacking in self confidence already, it's even harder. Try to find a psychologist who will give you support.
You need a new therapist. Could you research an LGBT friendly one in your area and then switch? You could just say you'd like a fresh pair of ears because you feel stuck with this one. Do you feel comfortable coming out to that male friend who came out? Maybe he knows a good therapist?
