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can I go back in the closet ?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by happydavid, Sep 7, 2014.

  1. happydavid

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    What do people think. I have come out to people and now regret it for the fact that people might talk. I even came out to my sister.
    I'm wondering that if I keep quiet about it people might forget all about it.

    I don't want to disrespect anyone on here because most people on here are above me and everyone of my family and friends are above me.
     
  2. Michael

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    ...come back to the closet?

    O_O

    I don't think so... On the bright side, you are bisexual, not gay... They might be more open about it.
    People is talking all the time, about everything, but most of the time they don't listen to each other, not really...
     
  3. CoyoteCalling

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    They might "forget" if they didn't want to know in the first place. Going back in, though, is going to cost you in the long run. You won't want to keep it up indefinitely. I went back in for a long period time and now wish I had finished what I started 10+ years ago.

    But what brought this on? Your post sounds like you're having a bad day (or week, month, etc). Why do you feel so much lower than everyone else?
     
  4. discalcedtierce

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    You can... I did, but I wish that I hadn't. Like CoyoteCalling, I spend almost a decade back in the closet, with only one or two people knowing my true orientation. Part of why I went back in was because of some trauma, and I decided to completely shut off my sexuality, but most of why I've decided to come back out is that I cannot live in an honest, integrated, and authentic manner if I'm not completely true to myself.

    Also, from my own personal experience, it is so much harder coming out of the closet this time around than it was the first time.
     
  5. SydneyTyler

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    I know this feeling all too well. Sometimes I feel the same, like, why would I ever tell my friends or the little bit of people that I did tell. But then the question is, If you could go back in, would you come back out?
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    Let's set aside the issue about people talking or gossiping for one second and focus on you and your feelings. When you were fully in the closet how did it feel? What was it like to be constantly hiding and denying a very real part of who you are? Most LGBT people find it suffocating and very depressing to be in the closet.

    Coming out is scary and [some] people will talk - that much is inevitable. People love to gossip about things! But even if you never came out people would still find a reason to talk. Do you imagine there would be no talking about you if you hadn't come out HappyDavid?

    I used to work in an office (notorious for catty gossiping) and even before I came out people would talk about me and make snide comments. They would talk about my appearance, the clothes I wore, my views and opinions, the way I worked, the way I expected them to work etc. etc. Coming out just gave them a different subject to focus on. In all honesty, I found it easier to accept the talking about my sexuality than some of the other shit I used to hear on the 'grapevine'.

    I know it's not nice to be the subject of gossip, but it happens everywhere, everyday. You'll never stop it.

    Try to remember what it was like to be all the way in the closet and ask yourself if you really want to go back there, just so people won't talk (about your sexuality).
     
    #6 PatrickUK, Sep 7, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2014