how to find a bf after coming out

It's going to take awhile, trust me. Also, don't expect to meet a boyfriend at a guy bar or online. Even so, you can still try these options to see if someone pops up, but even in my country which is a bit liberal and young people don't seem to care, it's been hard for me, because since I came out two months ago, I've met at my university and randomly (not the internet, which I avoid) at least 10 guys (not counting the ones I've met in gay bars/clubs) all wanted to just fuck. I don't do that, so I continue searching for someone. Ill tell you this... I'm noticing that I'll actually have a boyfriend by years end, but not the way that I thought. I'm getting to know two guys which are my friends and it appears as if there is somehting between us. Both I've known for at least two years now, but had no idea they were gay and if they're not then they sure have been hiding it well, same as I.

The best advice I can give you is to wait and be patient. You have to be much more open about your sexuality, but in your case if you want to meet people, you must go to a gay bar and be confident. Don't be shy, but be confident and dress well. It's a process and maybe the first time you'll be unsuccessful, but keep trying, you'll get the hang of it.

T

 

I'm in the same boat I'm 24 and never been with a man or woman. I have really decent looks and I'm a regular guy. I don't act or look gay if you seen me on the street you wouldn't have the slightest clue I was gay. I grew up with 2 older brothers and lots of cousins all male, and when we all use to go out and party everyone would be with girls in the room and I would always be by myself. I just ain't physicly attracted to women! Even when I was younger I was always looking and my male teachers and just fantasise about being with them. Since I've always hung around with family all the time everyday growing up I was always afraid to let anyone even think I'm gay, because where I come from its the worst thing to be. My family thinks people choose to be gay rather than being born with that in your mindset. I've always heard when we would be some where and me and my cousins or brothers or parents see a gay guy they would talk so bad about that person. And even though it killed me a little inside each time what could I of said , I had to pretend like it didn't bother me! I just want everybody to know me for me and not ''oh yeah that so and so he's gay''. It might sound weired but that's how I feel, I'm trying so hard to do good niow so I could get this job and move to Florida where nobody knows me and maybe out there I can open up who I really am a little more. I just haven't been in relationships because I am afraid of someone seeing me and finding out, but now that i m getting older I want to be in a relationship, I wantnbto know what love feels like. Just the way things are going I'm afraid I will her know the joys of loving and being loved unconditionally. SORRY so long I'm just blurting everything out just so much mixed emotions bottled up inside that I need to get out some way or another.