Some advice please.....

Maybe its not your sexuality you are having a problem with but the fact that you haven't yet found a relationship with someone you really connect with. Could this be true?

 

Sexuality is a very large part of our lives so it is normal for you to spend time thinking about it, especially if you haven't someone special, be they boy or girl, at the moment.

If in the past you haven't enjoyed sex with boys maybe you weren't in the right kind of relationship to enjoy it. Many people, especially girls, need to be in a close loving relationship and feel in confidence with the person in bed with them in order to be able to enjoy themselves.

Your sexuality isn't only about who you like having sex with it is more about who you feel attracted to on an emotional and/or physical level. Someone putting pressure on you to sleep with them is bound to put you off so it might not just be because he was a boy that was putting you off simply the situation.

 

Being confused, uncomfortable, unsettled... that's certainly part of the coming out process - yes. I'd say that even though you say you're comfortable with your orientation, you aren't really. Your status suggests you're still trying to figure it out, and that you're only 'out' to a few people. Is this something that you've hidden from your family and your 'straight' friends? Is the fact that you have a daughter (which suggests you've had sex with men) keeping you from admitting that you're a full-out lesbian?

I was married and had 2 daughters when I finally came to admit / accept that I was gay. It wasn't easy, and I tried to deny it for a long time. And in the process I made myself and the people around me pretty miserable. Only when I finally was able to accept it was I able to start feeling better about myself.

That might be where you're at right now.

Welcome to EC. This is the place to figure this kind of thing out. There's no other place on the internet like it as far as I'm concerned. Good luck. Let me know if you'd like to chat further.

 

Welcome to Empty Closets! It sounds, as the others have said, as if you're still not as comfortable with your sexuality as you thought. Do you have any lesbian friends you could talk to about this? Maybe you should try and make some if you don't have any, they might help you get a better picture of your sexuality or just help you meet more women. Try not to worry about being unattractive because of your uncertainties - remember, everyone has to come out at some point so gay people are very used to the newly coming out / unsure person.

Sorry if this advice has all been useless, but I would just reiterate that maybe you should try to meet some other gay women and perhaps they can help you feel more at ease and in tune with yourself. Maybe your gay boy-friends could introduce you to some? I hope EC can help you too! Remember that you're so not the first, or the last, to have all these confusing thoughts. (*hug*)