OK so...a friend of mine invited me to her house on thursday, mainly for tremendous amounts of pizza eating and discussion of the coming expedition. This hardly ever happens to me, normally I'm at home every single weekend without fail, doing absolutely nothing with friends. She then talked about our friend's party happening on thursday, then remembered she'd got the day wrong, and that our friend's party was the day after. Now...I wasn't invited to that. ...In fact, I'm never invited to anything. EVER. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong with these people. They're nice enough to me in school, during lessons, but for social events they're always stuck together in these little particular clumps, who go around together, and I just don't seem to be able to fit in with any of them. I'm too shy to actually ASK people if they want to meet up at the mall or whatever, but that's not even the way it's done anyway. You have to be of a certain social 'rank' to be able to organise these little gatherings, and it's only the certain clumps that get invited. It just makes me realise that I have absolutely no friends here, and it makes me so miserable to think about that. I'm getting tears in my eyes while I'm typing this because the realisation is just hitting me in the face, constantly, every day: "HELEN. NOBODY. LIKES. YOU. GET. THAT. INTO. YOUR. HEAD." I do have friends in the UK, and friends who go to boarding school in the UK but live in Dubai for the holidays (eg Lucy/Heatqueen), but I hardly ever get to see them, and I just feel so lonely, all the time. I'm sick of it
Just because you are not invited out by your friends doesnot mean that they don't like you, simply that they are inconsiderate and so wrapped up in their own little cliques that they haven't bothered to spare you a thought. If your 'friends' can't see you for the wonderful person that you are then they are not really friends, just classmates. Maybe you could think of gettin outside interests where you will meet like minded people who share your interest and then you already have something in common with them. Don't take this to heart, your friend invited you over for pizza didn't she, that's a start.
(*hug*) Oh Helen... :icon_sad: It make me so sad to read your post. You're so bright and funny and supportive to other people here that it's just so wrong for you to think that nobody likes you... I'm not in your situation, so it's tough to give advice. Are there any clubs at school that you could join? That way you sort of 'insert' yourself into an existing group - and it would be with people who share at least one common interest with you (i.e. whatever that club is about). Otherwise, you really DO need to invite people to do things with you. And who says you have to have some kind of magical, mythical social status to that kind of thing? I'm pretty sure the heavens aren't going to come crashing down if you were to invite someone over to your house for pizza, or to go to the mall, or something... And while it might seem crappy now... life gets better as you get older. People out grow these immature notions of having a little group that they hang out with exclusively. Also, you're more free to develop your own friendships with people that you can relate to - which might be through work, or church, or a volunteer organization, etc. The opportunities to develop friendships really do increase as you get older. So don't despair. Personally, I find you and your life experiences to be just facinating! I think Dubai is SO exotic and interesting. And yet you have roots in England as well, which gives you so many options in terms of where you might go throughout your life. The world, as they say, is your oyster!
(*hug*)Helen you are such a sweetheart! You are so supportive to all the people here. I just can't imagine you feeling like this yet I DO know how you feel. I used to be that shy girl too. It is really hard to make new friends when you are shy. You just have to push yourself out of your box and do as Jim suggested and invite somebody over or to the mall. Start with the person who invited you to pizza. Soon you will find your circle of friends growing. I never imagined I would have the friends that I do now. You just have to take the baby steps that push you out of your comfort zone. You will find its easier the more you do it. Its not that people don't like you, its you haven't had the opportunity to be yourself around enough people for them to like you. Been there and done that Helen! You can do it too!
Helen!!! :tears: I wish I could be there for you forever, dammit, why can't boarding school be in Dubai!!! Don't worry about them, they're so not worth it. You don't really want to be friends with them anyway. Let's face it, most of the Dubai crowd are all really fake....... I promise I'll try to see you lots in the holidays, you'll be my only Dubai friend as well since everyone's left all at once. It might seem so hard right now but in the future, once you're all grown up and have gained some independence, you can go wherever you want, and be friends with whoever you want. it'll so be worth it in a few years once you're the one who's friends with great people while everyone else hangs around withe the fake-asses and b****es.
I've been in that situation so many times, and even now - as I was telling one of my friends - I am constantly left out of things, even though I try really hard to socialise with people. What I'm wondering is - are you able to organise more gatherings yourself? As in, you yourself have a sleepover and invite people, or you invite people for coffee/shopping or whatever? This is what I've been trying to do to get over not being invited to things. I think a lot of the time it's that people don't realise, rather than that they're spiteful. I don't know what entertainment opportunities there are for you, but I've found that making the first move and asking people if they want to go see a film, go shopping, or have coffee, then they're more likely to then ask me to. But then, it can be difficult when the cliques are hare to break into - I think that at school that can really be the case. But try not to take it too personally. I was really upset the other day for exactly the same reason, so I get the feeling
