So heres the deal. I came out to most of my friends late 2011. The past few years have been rocky with them "not believing" me. Apparently I'm not gay enough for them, so they think I lied for attention. Btw, all my friends are straight guys, so yeah they can be dumb. But anyway, being that they are all straight, and apparently I "act" straight, my family never really questioned my sexuality. To them, I'm just so busy with school to have time for a Girlfriend lol. Im getting to the point in my life where im comfortable with who I am, and Im sick of hidding details about my life from family. My problem is that both sides of my family are either in positions of power, or the public eye. Both sides are also super republican, to the point of first name basis with congressmen and CEOs of yet more super republican corporations. If I came out, whether or not my family accepts me, it will be pretty scandlous. One of my family members best friend bought the entire front page of a local newspaper before the last gay marriage vote to promote why gay marriage will ruin the world. And my family backs them up. Coming out would make them look weak or even ruin them. I would never be able to bring my significant other to any of the stupid benefit/company/etc dinners. If I were to get married, it would be a small event because my family would hack down the guest list, thats if they even will be a part of my wedding. And if I was in "public" I would have to watch my back because "someone might see me" and start rumors. Etc... So obviously the answer is to live my life the way I want it, not how others want it. But that really isnt feasable. Should I just hide in the closet till im out of school and on my feet? Or just say eff it and come out now? I mean, were talking 5-6 years till I could be financially stable and moved out. If I were to find a guy (which I def hope to), I would have to hide him. Anyone in a similar situation that has input?
Obviously it would be better to be out and in the open, but circumstances count, no matter what anyone says. You may have to remain in the closet, but only in order to maintain your education, not because of what anyone will say in your family, or elsewhere. When you are on your own, then you can stand your ground. Will it really take 5-6 years before you can be on your own? It may take less if you are willing to accept a lower standard of living for a short while. I know, it completely sucks to have to remain in the closet, but use this time productively to firm up your plan of escape and to be on the lookout for opportunities that may arise sooner for financial independence. You may also look for gay friends who may become more than friends, that will keep you busy enough!
You can probably pretty much live your life as you want as long as you maintain a low profile. Most Republican politicians are used to mendacity and lying about themselves to suck money up from wealthy donors, so if your family has some money, they won't much care about your orientation. Your family is where you might have more trouble if their right-wing business connections are more important to them than their own children; you will have to make that call. Unless your family are really visible, and assuming you are off at college or out on your own somewhere else, you will probably not get any media attention; the press would not likely seek you out unless you or your family is very political itself. What you will have to eventually ask yourself is why the kind of bigoted assholes with money your family likes hob-knobbing with, or what they think, matters to you. If you see your future as part of their "in" group, then you will have to deny your sexuality and be in the closet for as long as you want to play that game, or until you inherit enough money that they will kiss your ass to get some of it regardless of your orientation, which probably won't be any time soon. Since you are apparently already out to your friends, and they are cool with it, and your family is either oblivious to it or in "lets don't talk to him about it and it won't be true" denial, why not just leave things like they are until something major changes; you don't have to be closely around them after you are out of school anyway. Just move somewhere where you can be yourself with your friends, and let your family continue their life they are apparently content with, rubbing elbows with "conservative" assholes. If they have ignored understanding your true orientation as long as they have for 22 years, they probably aren't going to suddenly change now unless you force the change upon them. Then, if it somehow becomes public and causes problems for them, they can righteously deny ever knowing about it, and say they are going to offer you help paying for reparative therapy or "praying the gay away" until you are absolved of your sinful ways.
