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Complications

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by WannaBeMe, Sep 11, 2014.

  1. WannaBeMe

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    I need some advice on multiple subjects of coming out. First, I really do want to come out to my family on one of my birthdays. But I also want to have someone special before I come out to have someone there with me. Because unfortunately my family is full of conservative Christians or at least the guys are. I need to know if coming out on my birthday is a good idea and also some tips on how to start the conversation. Second, my best friend, who is a girl and I'm a guy so not to much pressure there, still doesn't know I'm gay and I want to tell her when she comes over this coming Saturday. I think I have it planned out but I still need some input. I want to sometime during the day tell her that I need to talk to her alone, I will then proceed to tell her that I will always be her best friend. Shortly after that or pretty much immediately I want to drop the bomb. But I still need some advice on how to play out each one. Another complication that I would like to add Is that the entire family is Christian and I know I believe that I can be gay and still be a Christian, but most of my family wouldn't be as open minded. So I could really use some advice and thank you to anyone who helps.
     
  2. Yossarian

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    It is generally recognized as not being a good idea to have a boyfriend with you when you come out to your family, particularly if they are conservative religious. They might very well go after him to blame him for "turning you gay" or "leading you down the path of temptation" at the very least. Coming out to your girl friend beforehand will give you someone to support you if the coming out to your parents doesn't go as smoothly as you hope it will, but again, it would be best for her to be available, but not actually present when you tell your parents, because one of their reactions might be embarrassment about having anyone outside the family or inside their church know about you right away, until they get used to the idea of being gay and have accepted it as a fact.

    You can certainly be a gay Christian if you want to, but you may feel the need to move to a different Christian church which accepts LGBT people if your current one does not.

    As for coming out on your birthday, and how to do it, there is nothing wrong with that if you want to come out to all the people who might show up for the party at the same time. Maybe you could make your own cake to get the conversation started.
     

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  3. WannaBeMe

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    Thanks for telling me about that whole shouldn't have a partner thing. But I don't think I would be able to switch churches that easily, I can just not tell them though. It technically isn't their business so they don't really need to know. Basically don't ask don't tell, and if you do ask you have to live wih the answer. But thanks I really appreciate it.
     
  4. WannaBeMe

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    I've told my best friend, she seemed genuinely upset. But I'm still glad I did thank you for the advice. I think I might come out to my parents with a flash mob though with a themed song I dunno just a though. But for anyone else who reads this, feel free to take advice from it.