What exactly is the point?

That's a question I've been struggling to resolve for quite a few years now, and what I've discovered is that everybody's answer is unique to themselves. I'd love to impart on you some kind of secret mission or overall goal to life, but one simply does not exist. Really, there are thousands of reasons to live, it's just a matter of identifying them and, most importantly, admitting to yourself that these are the things you love in life.

For me, self-discovery and self-improvement are huge reasons to keep on ticking, and as stupid as this may sound, the tiny, little beauties of life are very inspiring to me, like dew rolling down a plant's stem, or fog creeping through a valley. I have a few dozen other reasons for living that I'm conscious of, and continue to accumulate them.

I certainly know how this can be. I was suicidal for a time, and really honestly couldn't see any reason for moving on. I also know how stupid everything I'm saying must sound, but it really is true. If you ever need to talk about this with anyone more personally, please don't hesitate to send me a private message. No matter how many reasons to live we find, life can still be rough, but it's nothing any person can't handle, with the proper support ^^

 

It seems you have stereotyped yourself! Lots of gay people make very significant contributions to society. You can have the life you want, gay or straight. Believe me, when you fall in love, that relationship won't be the "meaningless suburban existence with some fairy fagget" that you talk about. Don't give up on life yet.

 

I think you need to realise that being gay does not mean spending the rest of your life with jack from will and grace in a house full of fabrics and pink stuff. You're like anyone else in life with their crappy existance apart from you like people of the same gender. All you need to do is to decide what to do with the time that is given to you. Try and make a difference

Oh stop moaning !

 

I totally understand where you're coming from. I was in that very dark place too not too long ago. I wondered what kind of future I could possibly have as a gay man. I've lost my wife, my kids, my house - and thought life was essentially over. I didn't want to go on either.

But that passes. It really does. Sometimes with the help of medication from your doctor to deal with the darkest of days. (It helped me alot.) Now I can TOTALLY see a future for myself - whether or not I'm with someone. I'm getting my own place - which I'm in fact really excited about. I'll get to decorate it and decide what to put in it. It WON'T be 'over decorated' - it will reflect my tastes. And for that matter, so will any person that I end up meeting. They will reflect and compliment my tastes. There are all different kinds of people - gay and straight - and it isn't easy to find a match either way.

Can I also say that now that I've accepted who and what I am, I'm feeling SO much better about myself! (OK - the meds have helped too.) And I'm actually out there meeting people. I've had lunch with 3 different guys lately. I've decided that one will just be a friend, one I was sort of getting serious about but have told him since that I don't think we'll be more than friends. One I'm having dinner with at his place this week. Another guy I've met online and we've talked on the phone a few times - we're having dinner tonight.

5 months ago I wished lightning would strike me down. I couldn't see a way out. But there was.

I know it's hard. We all know it. But keep reading in here. There are lots of happy, well rounded people in here. There are also all different types of people. MNGUY and myself have conversations about our cars! Hardly stereotypical!

Give it some time. And if you're really down and wondering about how to carry one - reach out to someone - your doctor or minister or guidance counsellor or parent - and get help. They don't need to know why you're depressed - just that you are and you need their help right now. Because the worst thing is being alone with your problems. They always get bigger instead of smaller.

I really hope this helps. Its all true.

 

I wonder the very same thing as i type. But as i listen to the people here, i think well maybe im not doomed to be TOTALLY miserable. So you shouldnt give up just yet, i think you'll find it can be worth it

 

well said mate, well said.

OK i'm not going to pretend that life is peachy and that there aren't times when I think.... fuck this i'm going to end it. But all it takes is reasuring yourself that things will get better. That at some point you'll aquaint yourself with parts of society who do not see homosexuality as being all that you are. I personally think it's sick that we're brought up in a society that teaches homosexuality to be abnormal, but in reality it's about as abnormal as being left handed.

Another good quote would be to say that your life is what you make of it. If you keep on thinking you're doomed to a life of pink frilly drapes then the likelihood is that you'll never live to enjoy life. But if you throw yourself at it and give it all you've got then you're laughing. Besides, your sexuality has nothing to do with how you like to decorate your house! But if you want to move in with Jack from Will & Grace, then that's ur perogative. But am sure loads of gay men would fight you for him.

 

Plus you can refuse to be a part of that without killing yourself.