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Dealing with this girl

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hoppip, Sep 18, 2008.

  1. Hoppip

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    A couple weeks ago, I was voted president of my GSA. I don't mean to abuse this power, or act as if I'm some mighty, heavenly deity, but I do believe that being voted president means I can make executive decisions and it means I'm really committed to the club.

    Before being president, there was a girl; let's call her Katie. Katie is this short, really annoying girl who:
    1. Told everyone she was president even though we had no formal election process even though she was never voted or even hinted at being president.
    2. Constantly interrupts people and controls the conversations.
    3. She's an IDIOT. She has no idea how to organize or get things done.
    4. She invades everyone's personal space by touching them, and she asks every member of GSA (even though the adult who sponsors us and I are always saying, "don't feel pressured to answer"), "ARE YOU GAY OR LESBIAN?"
    5. That last one applies especially to the girl members, and she always says something creepy to the straight girls about being bi or gay.

    So today we had our Homecoming pep rally day. Here's how it boils down: we all go to shortened classes, then attend an hour long pep assembly where there's cheerleaders and gymnasts and athletes, and then we go outside and all the clubs set up booths to sell and fund raise. This is called the Homecoming picnic.

    The previous Thursday, the GSA club met and had a meeting where we got together a bunch of beads and string and started creating bead bracelets. Katie did not show up to this.

    During the Homecoming picnic, I showed up and got everything together. We set out the premade beads to sell, and then had another table where people could make their own bead bracelets for a price. I stayed at that table the WHOLE time. Other members sat down and did productive things such as help the customers and create more bead bracelets to sell "premade."

    Katie, however, showed up late. She then proceeded to ask me if she could have a "cigarette break" the SECOND she arrived. So I said, 'okay' because, as a former-smoker, I know that one can burn through a cigarette in 10 mins. Katie, however, left for 20. She then came back and...

    ...while I was taking tickets and selling bracelets and everyone else was creating more things and helping people...

    Katie was DANCING. She was standing there dancing. Not helping customers, not picking up beads that rolled off, not making more bracelets to sell. She just danced. She then asked me, about 20 minutes later, for ANOTHER cigarette break.

    She took 30 minutes that time.

    Other people asked for breaks and I let them, but all of them came back promptly.

    Finally, we were starting to wrap things up. All the active members were putting things away, picking up bits of string and beads off the ground, and putting them on the big wicker tray. We had a manila envelope with all the tickets, and Katie told me she was going to take them to our sponsor inside. I told her that I was gonna keep the manila envelope in the tray so the whole group could take everything in at once when everything was done.

    She said this to me: "You know what, Sean? I'm taking the tickets no questions asked." in the rudest way possible.

    She then left and returned and asked me "Is there anything I can do?"

    I said, "Yes, help me fold up this table and clean up the strings."

    She THEN said, "No, I think you can handle it, I'm gonna go. Bye."

    And she just left.

    The thing that bothers me the most is that she said (behind my back) that I didn't DESERVE to be president, even though I managed the station the WHOLE time, took NO breaks, set up and cleaned up the station, managed taking and giving back tickets, and attended the bracelet-making meeting the week before.

    She didn't lift a finger, she took three breaks (after arriving late) yet she took the tickets to our sponsor so SHE could get the credit.

    I just hate her so goddamn much.
     
  2. biisme

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    She does sound like a truly difficult person to deal with.

    Are the other memebers in agreement with you about the way she acts? If so, perhaps you could nicely tell her, that she sometimes makes people uncomfortable with her questions. As for the other stuff, you can try and stress the importance (to everyone) that people need to help out and it's a team.

    I know this seems like it might not work, especially when the person is really frustrating, but it can't hurt to try.
     
  3. Amy

    Amy
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    holy crap! major bitch alert!


    just tell her that she shouldnt be acting the way she is, especially if it is offending anyone else. remind her to show up on time, too.

    personaly, i would have called her a bitch to her face quite a while ago. im not telling you to, that would be crappy advice. dont.
     
  4. Cool Beans

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    You could, as has been suggested, tell her that she needs to show up on time and help with things. If this doesn't help, I assume your group has an adult adviser you could speak to concerning an appropriate course of action about this girl? I have no experience with GSA's, but would removing her from the group be a valid last resort?
     
  5. Smiley1123

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    OoO I'm sorry that sucks! Yeah I say go ahead and pull her over in the hall or something and talk to her. If she goes all crazy on you when you talk to her then you may actually want to bring it up with the teacher who runs the GSA. He/she may be able to make Katie listen and do what shes told.
     
  6. jazzrawr

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    Oh dear god, she sounds like a nightmare. :|

    I feel so bad for you Sean XD

    She deserves to be yelled at...by me :grin:

    Can I? Pwease? *cute face*
     
  7. sexyalex

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    don't hate her, love her. and be happy, isn't that what being "gay" is all about?

    listen, Sean. :lol: do what u have to do and leave her be. In life people are gonna always say shit about u, its not what they say that matters its what u reply to. However, if u do care that much, when ever u guys NEXT have a meeting, be sure to raise it in.

    In fact, bring it up in the most respectfully rude way possible and make sure she gets this message loud and clear "It dosn't make sence u talk about me behind my back, cuz i i'm not short of friends". Simple. It always works for me. Atleast, they shut the heck up and everyone always do what they need to do.

    I understand this group is suppose to be about friendship and making alliances and getting to feel comfortable within ur zone but personally mate, i wouldn't want to be appart of something i feel uncomfortable going to:shrug:...and if its just one person. Don't sweat it Sean; why? cuz if u do as i say and ignore her and just do ur presidency job at its best then slowly but surly no one is gonna give a hoot what that scrub thinks or says.
    ...if she is THAT much of a bitch.

    Makes sence?

    much respect,
    Alex.:slight_smile:
     
  8. panda

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    I think she may be on drugs. Short attention span. Late. Constant breaks. Irrational.

    To me those are all druggie symptoms.
     
    #8 panda, Sep 18, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2008
  9. davo-man

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    I thought the same thing

    Eurgh, bitches are so frustrating and annoying. Sorry I can't give you much advice; in your shoes, I would usually ignore her or write her a scathing email. But I would totally also think that confronting her would be a good course of action as well, esp if you have the support of the group behind you
     
  10. Helen

    Helen Guest

    (*hug*) there any way of getting teachers involved with this, Sean?

    Because it's just not fair on you to have to deal with this excess pressure of Katie being a total bitch AS WELL as being President of your GSA. Either that, or talk to the other members of the group about her, see if they feel the same way, then you all confront her and tell her how much she's disrupting everything.

    I've just had to deal with something slightly similar for my Duke of Edinburgh expedition to Mauritius on tuesday; this one girl has done absolutely nothing I've asked her to, has let me run around organising EVERYTHING to do with our group, and who's bringing what. She also couldn't be bothered to ask her dad if we could use his tent, and came up to me with the excuse (after I forced it out of her) "He just REFUSED...". The ONLY reason I didn't start yelling at her and getting teachers involved right on the spot is because it happened to be her birthday that day.

    Is it possible to just throw Katie out?
     
  11. Gumtree

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    WoW, if it was me in charge I would have her in the corner slapping her already. :/

    Be assertive, make her aware of what she does and how u think. After that, if there is no improvement take harsher action.

    Don't waste time.
     
  12. Jim1454

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    She's bitter and jealous and very likely stupid.

    Don't let it bother you, because it's as obvious to everyone else as it is to you that she's a bitch, and very few people care about what she has to say about anyone. It sounds like you ran a very well organized and successful event at the picnic, which is awesome. You obviously DO deserve to be the president - and she can't stand it.

    So carry on doing the great job that you're doing, and don't let her get to you.

    If she continues to behave the way she did behave in meetings, then perhaps you can establish meeting guidlines that the whole group can agree on and vote on - and then you'll be within your rights to ask her to stop that behaviour or to leave.

    Good luck!