I am fourteen and have a pretty big social life. I wouldn't say I'm the most popular kid at my school or something stupid like that, but I would say I have more than the average amount of friends. (After all, my social life is very important to me.) Gay people are accepted in my area by most people, but there aren't a whole lot of them to my knowledge, which makes my fear of coming out even greater. I'm sure that I am gay and that this is not just a phase, so I've decided to come out to the first supportive I can think of: My mom. Still, I'm at a loss of words. I don't know how to say it or where to even begin. I think she may already know or at least may have an idea due to how awkward I get when she brings up girls or something. I am 99% sure she will be supportive, but I just don't know where to begin with her and I still fear that she will some how hate me for it. Can someone help walk me through what I should do?
Welcome to EC! A lot of people say to come out when something about LGBTQ+ comes up in conversation, but I think any time you're alone with your mom and you feel confident enough in that moment to come out, go for it. There's that 1% chance she won't support you, but you can't let that prevent you from coming out. If she's unsupportive, that's another issue entirely. I basically just said " I'm not comfortable enough to talk to you about it, but I think you deserve to know this: I'm pansexual." feel free to mentionit if you don't want to talk to her about it, and even if you do, keep it short and sweet for now.
She'll probably react just fine, and coming out is hard no matter what situation you are in. I came out at the same age as you, and it worked out great! I would suggest keeping it simple, like "Mom, I would like to tell you that I'm gay." Making it less of a big deal helps ease things before the conversation really starts. Odds are, she will want to talk to you afterwards, though. Coming out to friends is great, too. One thing I did was practice saying it in the shower. Just repeating the phrase helped immensely when I decided to come out. If you want to, telling friends helps too.
Do it by letter. I foubd it so much easier to get what i needed to get out then letting it all spill like word vomit. Tell her, they always will love you for who you are. I balled my eyes out when my mom said it was okay.
I think your mother will be fine no matter what you are. Have a nice, forthright discussion with her about it (so that way, she doesn't reach the assumption of you being confused or whatnot). Coming out to friends is great too, particularly those that you know you can trust. They will be a force that can help you when times are bad and you need solace. Good luck and I'm looking forward to hearing what happens next .
I just came out to my mom, and she was EXTREEMELY supportive, more than I would have ever expected. She said she still loved me and I was the same child and to never let this define me as who I was. Yet somehow I still feel... almost empty inside?? Is this normal??
First, congrats on coming out! And so glad to hear your mom was totally supportive!! Is the empty feeling normal? Yup. Totally normal. Coming out is sort of like standing naked in front of someone if you aren't used to doing that. Deep down, you know there's nothing wrong with it, but it feels very uncomfortable, like you're exposing a deep, secret part of yourself. Give it a few days and you'll feel very different.
Hey there AnonymousHipstr, I'm also fourteen and I've been out for about a month. I totally get the feeling; I knew my parents would be supportive, yet it was the hardest thing coming out. I also live in an accepting community, yet there aren't many gay people here either, which stinks, especially in my grade. At least know that there's no rush to come out, though the feeling of almost keeping a secret is hard, I understand. And hearing the phrase, "It's just a phase" is hard (I should know ) but at least you know it's not and you're confident. Sorry if this was really long!
