1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Im 44 gay father in depression

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by xen2013, Sep 18, 2014.

  1. xen2013

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2014
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I m 44 gay father. I m married and have two sons. I m in depression because of my sexual orientation. I feel I dont want my children and generally anything good in my life
    :icon_sad:
     
  2. Michael

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2014
    Messages:
    2,602
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I can't tell you how your sons would feel if you told them, but I tell you that if my father told me he was gay, that wouldn't change my perception of him at all.

    I love my father because he has been always there for me, no matter what. He is a strong, good, honest man, and to me that's all that matters... If he comes tomorrow and tells me he is gay and he is going to marry a man, I'd smile and tell him exactly what I told him when he re-married : "I'm so happy for you! I wish you all the best!".

    When you truly love someone his/her happiness is your happiness, it's a simple as that.

    There is issues you'll have to deal with in the future, but it's better than spending the rest of your life living in a lie (And most probably making other people around you unhappy)... Don't you think?

    You can make this. I send you my love.
     
  3. SaleGayGuy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2013
    Messages:
    612
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Manchester, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi xen2013, welcome to Empty Closets.

    You are not alone, you should head on over to the LGBT Later in Life section of this website, I recon at least 50 other guys, some younger and some older than you, in similar position to you have all sorts experience of this and will have plenty of advice for you.

    SGG
     
    #3 SaleGayGuy, Sep 18, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2014
  4. Choirboy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,672
    Likes Received:
    427
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome, xen2013. Coming to grips with being gay after marriage and children isn't easy, but it can be done. The process can be rough, and it's different for everyone, but in the end there's a freedom that you really don't even realize you're missing until you get a taste of it. I had a bunch of triggers in my life around age 50 that really started things going, and told my wife a year ago. Now I'm basically out to anyone who asks or has a clue, including my teenage daughters, siblings, co-workers and neighbors, and life is in a whole lot of transition as I work on wrapping up my marriage and moving on with a guy I love more than I thought I ever could.

    As SaleGayGuy said, check out the Later in Life section. You'll be completely shocked at how NOT alone you are in this journey, and there are incredibly supportive people in all stages of accepting themselves and coming out. There's a lot of strength and care there. We're here for you!
     
  5. SaleGayGuy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2013
    Messages:
    612
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Manchester, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Check out marriedgay.org for some interesting facts, also on Amazon Kindle you can find a book by Dr Joe Kort called "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love" it has several chapters relating to married gay guys and is very informative.

    SGG