Hi, just to get some advice. So I'm a gay man, most people in my life know and my life goes on just fine. There is one problem that I experience however, I'm not your typical gay man. I'm one of those boyish/boy next door types-- so I don't have big muscles but I'm not your typical 'effeminate' man. Very few people would even think I'm gay even after a long conversation with me that doesn't cover the topic. I'm open to telling people, so long as the subject is brought up. I am however not so willing to say out of the blue "By the way, I'm gay". To me it feels like randomly saying "By the way, I like getting fucked by men" (excuse my French). I'd like to tell people, all my friends already know. I meet new people every week and some of them actually do remain in my life for longer than I expect. Telling them just doesn't feel warranted.. I admit that I tend to be a bit of an enigma quite often, but fact remains that I will answer honestly if the question is posed to me. I don't know if many of you feel like this, but telling people I'm gay over and over again feels like coming out of the closet over and over again aargh. Help?
Well, as you can see from my profile < I 'come out' to people now in the course of a conversation. I don't hide my sexuality, but I don't shout it from the rooftops either, saying "By the way, I'm gay". It's a little easier for me as I'm in a relationship and I say "we" quite often, which leads people to ask who the other person is. Once the important people in life know, I don't see any need to continue to make a special effort to tell all. It's a personal choice of course, but that's how I go about it and I certainly don't feel closeted anymore.
I've reached the point where, when it comes to telling people whom I'm not acquainted with, I don't unless it comes up. I am still telling friends (and haven't told a single family member, for that matter) but am not concerned about my coworkers or people who I meet from here on out. If they bring it up, say it, but don't worry about it otherwise.
OK I hear you. So I changed cities about a year ago, and obviously everyone knows except for two people. They don't know not because I did not want to tell them, but because it never came up. I've known one for about 11 months and the other for about 6 months. One of them may have found it, uhm heard it from the grapevine type situation but I'm not sure the other one does. I don't know why I feel I should tell him, but I think I should just so he doesn't have an idea of who I am that isn't true. How should I go about telling him?
The easiest way, I think, is if you find yourself talking about relationships, slip in the proper pronoun and things get clear very fast!
I do the same, I wait for the subject to be brought up in conversation... but it takes time to wait for an opportunity to show up.
