(Sorry this is long guys) Just as a quick intro i'm a 17 year old guy, i've accepted myself as bisexual and i'm really happy at the moment and im out to a few very close friends, but i am nowhere near ready to be out to my family and then this happened.. For a while now i've been keeping a diary, writing down pretty much all my thoughts in it (about numerous things, my crushes etc included) i know it sounds like im a 7 year old girl but honestly having it all written down really helps me and when i go over it later and read it, it helps to look at my thoughts in a different light. I've always kept it really well hidden and didnt think anyone would ever find it. that is until my mum decided to tidy my room (i assume) Im assuming she must've read it (she wouldnt have known its a diary, im not mad at her) because out of the blue one day we were talking and she was reading the paper, about an Actor (Andrew Scott) for those of you who dont know Andrew Scott plays Moriarty in sherlock and is an openly gay actor himself and she said "Hm, he's quite an attractive guy isnt he?". So i kinda sat there like uhhhhhhh idk i guess, whilst inside my head i was screaming what the actual f***!!!!!!!! Then two days later when im studying in my room my brother magically somehow finds my diary (even though it hasnt moved..)(hmm how would he know where to find it eh?) and before he opens it i have to snatch it out his hand. So basically, my mum now knows, and shes probably told my brother.. but i am so not ready to talk about it or come out or anything so.... what do i do????
Hmm... I'd wait to see what else happens. Considering your mom didn't say much she's probably not sure what to say herself. If you're not ready to talk about it, just say so if she asks directly. By the way, it's not actually that long of a post. You should see the walls of text that people barf out sometimes (myself included)
well you ought to have some privacy - the idea of people snooping at things is quite bad BUT … you don't KNOW they have read it. I would try and blank out those thoughts unless you have actual evidence. Worst case scenario: Even if they have read it … they have been quite civil to you - which is a good sign that they do not/ will not disapprove?? I keep a diary but electronic on my computer and password protected so little chance of anyone opening it. You could even scan your paper diary as images in to your computer and then continue in a password protected folder or something ?
Thanks, that's actually a cool idea, and yeah I wouldnt expect my mum to have a problem with it(I'm really lucky in that respect) it's just more the fact that Im just totally not ready to talk about it right now as I wouldn't be able to explain my feelings that well and I'm worried she might just pass it off as "a phase"
Go out and buy a lockbox. If anyone ever found my journal... I would die. There's some really personal stuff in there.
Yeah, one time I accidentally gave my best friend my diary (It says journal on the front, I wrote journal on it) while she was asking for my music book to look through I did it without realization until she came out and said "You're such a writer." Thankfully I don't write in it much (as this was before I accepted my own sexuality) and there wasn't much personal stuff in there. It sucks when people read your personal thoughts. I now use an electronic diary on my phone because one time my mom read my step-brother's journal. Granted it said I hate (my mom's name) repeatedly. But still I don't want everyone to have access to my hidden sexuality any time. But people have had the right idea you should scan the pages and put them under a passcode (download an app for a diary with a passcode) then as an addition you can burn the paper diary so no one will ever read your thoughts again. Just a thought. My grandfather was in the military and had paranoia so I got a lot of those genes, as I am pretty thorough when I hide things like sexuality. Feel free to message me for pointers.
I'm also very thorough when hiding things! I had an old diary, and upon reading back in it, I sounded like such an idiot, and there was some pretty personal sexual things in there.. I toasted that sucker.
