Hey everyone... I have told my mom that I'm dating a girl but she was really upset. She forbade me to see my girlfriend and never spoke to me about it again...that was four years ago and we haven't talked since about the subject. I am still dating the same girl....we lived together in college without my mother's knowledge. She won't mention it and I don't know what to say because she was disgusted by it. She also didn't want me to tell my dad. SO I really don't know what to do.... I don't think my dad will be supportive either. This secret has been eating away at me for years but I'm not sure when the right time to tell them is..... or if I even should tell them. I'm afraid my dad will blame my mom and it will cause trouble with their marriage. I don't want to hurt anyone but that seems unlikely.. Thanks for reading.
Hey lulu! I think you should take your time on bringing up the subject again. I know it has been 4 years already, but unless you are financially independent; not concerned about any repercussions that could jeopardise your college, or anything your parents are helping you with, then you have to think selfishly and for yourself at this point in time. If you're unsure how your mum or dad would react if you brought the subject up again, then let it lie for a little while longer. Their responses, when the time comes, will and could be less than favourable, but as your mother already knows, she may come to an understanding about your relationship and become an ally when it comes to talking to your dad. As hard as it is, my opinion is to wait a little longer. (also kudos on 4 years together! )
I do agree with Feijoa, I don't think I can give much more advice them that. I do think it will be a topic you will need to discuss with them at some point, unless you are wanting to cut all contact with them.. They will need to know at some point, but only when you feel ready to come out and tell her that you are still with her. You are worried that this will cause issues within your parents marriage.. Please don't ever blame yourself for that if that turns out to be the case.. It is your parents issue if they can't accept who their daughter is, not yours.. You didn't just wake up one day and decide to be a lesbian just to hurt them.. It is who you are and you should never feel bad for that.
