I would like to eventually come out to at least my bet friend and parents. However both of my parents are slightly... off. Not homophobic, not at all, but my dad will try to turn it into some huge thing and my mom doesn't know when to be serious. She literally cannot have a conversation without constantly cracking jokes, and she has teased me to tears before. Any suggestions on how to have a serious yet low-key coming out with my parents? Then there is my best friend, we have been close for seven years and I just found out that she is mega-homophobic. Even if I could bring her to reason, would she get the wrong idea? How do I come out to them without looking stupid?
Your mom likes making jokes, great it will lighten the atmosphere when you tell them just make sure they know your being serious. i am sorry to hear about your friend i don't have very much experience dealing with homophobia but ask her why she is like that and try to understand (be it religion, or other stuff) and if it seems like it would wreck your friendship then don't tell her until it becomes necessary. Hope this helps
Knock knock Who's there? Now know a gay Now know a gay who? You do. Sorry - had to give it a try... What kind of big thing from your dad?
When you are ready, before you say anything.. Maybe speak to them about how you feel they don't take you seriously and how it upsets you when they joke around on serious subjects, and then tell them you need to talk about a serious matter and you would it would be appreciated if they didn't make fun of you.. I guess with your Dad, it depends on what kind of a big thing you mean.. Good thing or bad thing? Talking about it at length or just pretending it didn't happen and ignoring what you said? Also if she is your beys friend.. Then she shouldn't be bothered by it.. It is who you are.. If she stops being your friend when you tell her.. Then she wasn't really your true friend anyway.. Cause a best friend.. Is someone who wouldn't judge their best friend on anything.. So if she is gonna be volatile to you.. Then she isn't worth being in your life anyway.. Do you really want a best friend when you don't feel comfortable to be yourself around?
Oh wow.. tough situation huh chica? I feel for you! Especially with the best friend situation! Aw You poor critter! I don't think there are many other options besides finding out why they don't like gays.. or feel uncomfortable with them. Maybe your best friend just doesn't understand.. she probably doesn't hate gay people. She just thinks it's weird because she isn't gay herself. What has she said exactly to make you think she is mega homophobic? Hang in there!
For the mom part of the situation you might want to leave a letter or a note so you can avoid conversation because that seems to be the real problem there. I don't really know how you could deal with your friend. That seems really tuff and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. You might want to come out just to her to see if your friend is really like your friend.
Thanks, I appreciate it- by the way, cool profile pic. ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2014 at 05:14 PM ---------- That's awesome- Bad jokes are kind of her thing. My dad will most likely just try to be all "righteous" and "accepting" and act like it makes me a different person. Also he's the type of person who would introduce me as "My gay daughter" which would really suck. ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2014 at 05:16 PM ---------- Thanks for the insight! My dad would talk about it way more than he has to, so bad and slightly awkward thing. I'm probably going to try to come out to my best friend soon, so I appreciate the pep talk, it means a lot to me! ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2014 at 05:20 PM ---------- My friend has said a lot of thing to make me feel that way, here are some examples: "Like, seriously, go be gay somewhere else." "They were, like, serious lesbos." ans more things like that, she was raised by parents and a church who don't support gay rights, and that's definitely a huge factor- I hope I can change her mind though! :icon_bigg ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2014 at 05:22 PM ---------- Thanks, I didn't think of the note thing- that's smart. I hope that things work out with my friend, but I appreciate the support either way. By the way, your profile picture is on of the coolest things ever!
I think that with your friend, it will be best for you to prepare for the worst but hope for the best when you come out to her. I would suggest telling her via letter/email/social media PM, just so if she reacts badly, you both have some room to figure out what you want to do next. If she is close to you, there is a chance that with time she will come around. I used to be extremely homophobic, but one of my friends came out to me.. and I was forced to reevaluate my beliefs. So, she may need some space, or she may ask you questions. As long as it seems like she is being sincere, go along with it and see what happens. Sometimes, people are homophobic because they don't understand us.
Inspiration for talking to your best friend... What happened when a gay coach in Iowa came out to his homophobic friends? - Outsports It may not work out the same way but I just wanted to remind you that there are success stories. As for your parents, is your mom cracking jokes a bad thing? It would make it so much less awkward. Or do you mean they are at your expense/homophobic? Maybe it would be easier to come out to your dad with a letter and highlight the fact you don't want it to be a big deal.... Just my two cents. Good luck!
Thanks, I appreciate the support and advice! ---------- Post added 28th Sep 2014 at 05:29 PM ---------- That was a really cool article and I hope things work out like that, thanks. My mom's jokes aren't quite relieving and not quite homophobic. It's more like she can't grasp that it is serious, and doesn't know when to stop. The letter is a good idea, and I appreciate the advice. Thanks!
