If I was having issues before, it has definitely got worse now. I have met a couple more people like me (one gay, one bi) which is great, I'm not alone anymore. but the issue I'm having mainly is with myself actually being gay. I'm starting to dislike it more as I've noticed how many people are having conversations about girls and it drives me insane having to divert the conversation away from tits all the time. I think I am becoming more depressive over time but yet I still use this front to pretend there is nothing wrong, just unsure what i should do as I can feel myself getting pushed more into the closet which is terrible if I meet a nice girl, I will probably try to make a relationship work again to hide from this homophobic world that I was born in. Any questions feel free to ask, I am really unsure what to do at the moment.
I have no questions, but I feel you I'm pretty sure very few people realize they're gay, and immediately embrace it. When I first realized I was gay, I tried to change. Obviously that didn't work. So then I thought,eh, I'll just date girls and fake it. Or "hey, Im actually bi". But then I realized, it's been a year in the closet and I'm so fucking miserable. How am I going to spend several more decades like this? What's the point in saying I'm bi when I still would be lying. Is it a religious thing? There are LGBT christians etc, And if that's a issue for you, I'm sure there's religious members out here that can help you out. Try and keep your head high. Things are getting better for us. Depending on where you are and who you are around, people might start verbal attacking the person who said something homophobic ( yay my uni ) How many places have allowed gay marriage in the last few months? Year? Quite a few. Attitudes and views are changing, so at least look forward to the future
The epic thing about that is the fact that it is now allowed in the UK. Bonus! also I have tried to date girls and it has always been awkward and hasn't felt right. But when I'm with a guy that I'm crushing on everything feels perfect and I know what is right for me.
See, if it got passed, doesn't that mean the majority aren't opposed to gay marriage and gay people in general? And if gay marriage is allowed, England must have anti discrimination laws? So if anything happens, sue (partially a joke :lol I don't know about your parents, but youre 18, that means you're legally allowed to move. So depending on how they take it, how you are financially, and how homophobic your part of England is, you can move. And I personally don't the worse part them talking about tits, it's how are you suppose to act to them talking about tits :lol: Depending on the people and yourself, no way it would be easier just to come out to them? That way you can just stand there disinterestedly, and not worry about giving yourself anyway or whatever. Obviously, being gay isn't the greatest thing, especially when we're a minority and there's homophobes. But we can't change, so what else can we do?
be proud be strong and as long as you feel safe be yourself. we are all(more or less) on the same boat. you are not alone.(*hug*)
Gossiping about girls is so fun... Like i wish i could do that with my friends but nooo all they want to talk about is gay stuff, and they're straight. And here i am wanting to discuss how ridiculous that one girl in the bus was with her drawn on brows and that silly duckface and all those cheap metal rings, etc... Or that other time when this other girl was wearing these skinny jeans that made her muffin top, and this shirt that was about to burst (and not from the pressure of her boobs)... but no, again... my friends wanted to talk about why i don't have a boyfriend and all that crap... jees. You're so lucky, wanna change places? On a side note, gossiping about girls can be good, as it can kind of pave the way to your "coming out" in front of friends. It's a good opportunity to drop some hints if you choose to do so. Also it kind of helps with being more open to yourself, accepting who you are and all that good stuff. Don't force yourself to do things you don't want to because ultimately you'll end up unhappy.
to be honest with you I enjoy gossiping about girls, its just the talk about sex that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I guess it's probably just where most the people that know about my sexuality think its some kind of... phase. WOW. Usually it doesn't bother me at all, but when that's all there is to talk about it the conversations just always run dry. For the past couple days all I can think about is just wherever I've been, there is never gonna be a place where i can call somewhere I belong. for years all i have done is just hide away in my bedroom playing games cause i just don't like the world i live in and only this year have i started talking about it. maybe someday ill figure this shit out.
