I don't have a lot of experience with this but... 1) Find somebody that you're pretty sure will be accepting. To be honest, the first person I came out to, I wasn't that close to, but I was kinda friends with, but I knew she'd be alright with it. So maybe try a LGBT friend or acquaintance, a family or friend that's an ally or at least not a homophobe. For me it was really nerve wracking so it's a nice to have a bunch of positive words If you're not sure, maybe try testing the waters with an LGBT issue. You hear such and such place just legalized gay marriage. Oh, and especially if you don't want anybody else to know, make sure they're trust worthy. 2) How are you planning on coming out? Casually? Through text? Facebook? Letter? Face to face? People often say it's impersonal to do anything but face to face. But it's about what you want. Coming out, especially for the first time is hard, so if it makes it easier do it through text. Through letter is also good, as you can say exactly what you want to say, edit it, make sure it say exactly what you want, then you give it to the person. If they're angry or confused, thu can read the letter a few times, cool down then talk to you. I have no experience is coming out face to face, sorry Oh, and these are just ideas and rambling from me. You don't have to do any of it, it's up to you. And one more thing. Try and find the right time. If theyre mad, busy, sad etc it's probably not a good time. If there is a chance the your parents won't take it well and you're still dependent on them, probably isn't the est time either ( but we're talking extreme here :lol: That being said, there is never a time the feels 100% right. It's a scary thing, so being scared, and a little worried about it is normal
I think HM03 gave the most important piece of advice: make sure you tell someone you know will be accepting and supportive. Coming out to more people can be much easier if you have a positive experience the first time. It'll also help if they can be trusted to keep it quiet if you want to control who you come out to and how quickly you want to come out to other people. Coming out to someone face to face can be a pretty intense. If the thought of that seems too scary, that's ok. A text, email or letter is also perfectly fine. Either way it's going to be sorta scary. When you're ready, go with what makes you feel the most comfortable.
My experience with it isn't all that vast as I have only really come out to a few people.. But I would suggest making sure you are really ready to come out and as the other posters have said, make sure you do come out to people who you are fairly certain will be supportive and accepting of you as if you come out and it's a bad experience.. It could make you wanna hide back in the closet again and don't feel you need to come out to everyone at once.. Start slowly.. One person at a time, when the timing is right and you feel ready.. But don't push yourself.. Don't force yourself to come out unless you know for sure that you are ready.. That is the thing I stress the most.. Come out when your ready and on your terms.
hi Squirrelpaw1 I agree with the others. Guess I'd just add "take baby steps" as it is your journey, no one elses.
Choose who to tell first very carefully. The idea is to tell the people who will most likely offer love, support and encouragement and be there for you if you get a bad reaction. 'Being there', sometimes means offering a safe place to go to too. Try to build up a support network for yourself - people you can lean on. I always recommend planning ahead. What I mean is, think about the questions people may ask you and have answers ready in your mind. Some questions will be sensible and reasonable, some will seem rather silly. Be prepared to answer them all, without irritation or hostility. Try to remember that your family/friends will have no idea what it's like to be a lesbian, so you can't expect them to be well informed, like the people on this forum and they may initially react with surprise or shock. Be prepared for this too. When you tell people, take a deep breath and gather yourself together. Come out with confidence, if you can (but don't be cocky). Set the tone of the conversation by remaining calm and demonstrate that you have really thought about it and it's not just a phase. If you get stressed out or angry, you may give off the impression that you are not happy with your sexuality. Finally, pick your moment carefully. Don't tell people when you are stressed or tired or when they are stressed or tired as it will not go well. Also, don't come out at Christmas or at somebodies birthday party... your coming out may not be considered a nice gift/surprise and you may even get the blame for spoiling a special event. I hope this helps (on top of the advice you've already received).
