Just a simple question this time =P I've realized when I'm around a small group of friends, I'm quite open and talkative, but the minute there's a lot of people I don't know, I automatically go into a shy phase, and it never really fades... I'm starting to become a killjoy for my friends, even though they dun wanna admit it, but I can't seem to stop it from happening >_< Anyone have tips for how to be more... uh... unshy? >_> Going to a friends Birthday party today, and even though there's 3-4 people there besides her I'll know, there's gonna be plenty more I don't :S I'd rather not have a repeat of the last time I went to one of her parties where I was soooo quiet and only talked to one person <_<
(*hug*) I'm a lot like that too What I do is try to block out all of the other people I don't know, and be as open and talkative as I normally am amongst those I know. Do you think you could try doing that? Also in the meantime, maybe talk to your friends about your shyness, they're not going to bite your head off for it. Maybe they could help you introduce yourself a bit, give you a little head start so that you're as talkative as you are normally
Let's say there's four people there you don't know. Just keep in mind - these people are in PRECISELY the same position as you. Yes, you don't know them, but they don't know you. Yes, you're not sure how to approach them, but they don't know how to approach you. So just think - how would I like to be approached? Generally, the obvious one is the best - go introduce yourself. "Hi, I'm Myzou." Culture dictates that they'll respond in kind by giving their names. Next, follow the standard two-step procedure for conversation: 1. Find your common ground. 2. Ask questions based on your common ground. What do you have in common with these people? You both know the birthday girl. So use that. "How do you know Susan?" Whatever the answer is, find something to move it along. If they say, "I'm in dance class with her," ask how dance class is going, how long they've been taking it, etc etc. Before long, you'll actually be chatting. Lex
I know exactly where you are coming from Myzou. I tend to clam up as well when other people I don't know are around. When I go out to a party or something, I will always tend to gravitate towards the people I know. (Even if I barely know them.) Lex is right. His advice actually makes a lot of sense. You just have to find some common ground to chat about. Once you're engaged in conversation, the conversation will just evolve and take on a life of its own. Before you know it, you've made some new friends.
If you want to keep up a conversation with a stranger, you can always just talk about them and ask them questions. People tend to like talking about themselves... it may be hard, but you'll soon relax and they will too. Sometimes you may have to force it if you lack confidence, but if you keep your body language open and tone confident, then the other person will see you as easy to talk to, they will relax and then you will relax in turn.
Kk, Just got back. When I first got there, me and someone (we'll call her... Ruby) were with my friend (We'll call her K), and we pretty much followed her around, as her... I hate to say it... Pothead friends came. (Yes, they were doing it -.- I covered my nose when they started and left the room when it got too bad) Anyways, when they stopped that, it got REALLY fun. People I knew started showing up, and then the people I didn't know realized I'm not a boring person or such, just shy, and after the people I knew left, they started talkin to me, and we started singing on the Karaoke machine =P Though, an Incident did happen with K and me... Let's just say I'll never be able to listen to Sweet Dreams are made of this again without cracking up... So, she's drunk (>_> Again, I avoided it =P, which may be why I always feel like a killjoy, but I wont let peer pressure for drugs/smoking/drinking get to me, so I feel proud of that, at the same time it makes me feel like a killjoy XD) Anyways, as I said, she's drunk, and we're standing up dancing around singing Sweet Dreams, when she suddenly turns and knocks me. Now, for those who seen me, I'm not a light person. She desperately grabs for me to keep me from falling, and she does... but she grabs... my crotch -.-. It was really just a hilarious moment though, and we shrugged it off, as I'm gay and she's a lesbian =P Anyways, after the whole illegal activities stopped and after I had some people I knew there for a little bit, it got better o.o And I did that lex, thanks WHen they were smoking, I left the room, and there was a girl there. K came in and asked if the smoke was too much and I said no, I just needed air, and she said ok, then the girl was like "Yea, I hate it too" and I was like "Well, I'm allergic" and she was too, and we talked a bit before she had to leave. lol And they weren't complete strangers except 2 of them (one of them was hot, but he did pot, so eww =p) I had met them at the last party she had, but I was so awkward at that point, they didn't even notice me. (Her dad came up to me and said "Hi, I'm ___" and me and her mom just kinda stared at him, as I had been introduced last time) lol
Glad you had a good time. It IS tough to get into the right mood at a party when the other people there are drinking heavily or smoking up and you aren't. But it sounds like you had a good time despite that - which is great!
