too old at 28?

I'm 21 but feel the same, however waiting won't help either of us and we should just shine and finally start living. I believe you should just go for it! Why care about what others think when you're not caring for yourself first! Now wish me luck too haha I need a cheer as well..

 

Welcome!

I'm 27 and I've just come out! I was afraid I was making a mistake, too. Only you can know for sure. But if you feel it for men and not women - the right girl isn't going to appear. Trying harder won't make the feelings appear. Don't worry, embrace who you are. You can tell people in your own time but it's an amazing relief to finally tell yourself!

 

If you look at some of my first threads you'll see I grappled with some of the same issues, especially the 'I told you so' part. The thing is, internal confidence defeats a lot of the negativity or snideness of other people around you. When you're out and proud - assuming you are indeed gay, which I believe from your post - you will just have a secureness that will be fundamentally positive.

As for age, that's all relative. I thought I was old at 23, seeing all the 15 year olds on here. But as you can see in the Later in Life section, there are many who begin this road in their 40s, 50s and 60s. Perhaps we each do it when we're psychologically ready to do it. For example, I don't think I could have processed 'being gay' in my teens without experiencing some kind of breakdown. You are still very young with all the advantages of youth - like me, try to focus on that and not concentrate on the negative.

 

Well, I came out when I was 33. So yeah, 28 isn't too old

 

Absolutely not too late. I know it's hard to think "I'm worried what people will think of it" and about people saying "I told you so" but honestly, if you can get into the mindset of not giving a damn what people think, you'll feel much better. Who gives a damn what people think? Don't let it affect your happiness. If coming out to more people makes you happy, do it. If making people mind their own damn business and not giving them the satisfaction of knowing your personal preferences makes you happy, then do that.

I guess I was rambling. Sorry. But yeah, I often care too much about what people think and it makes me live life differently and not to the fullest potential. It's something I want to work on.

 

28 is not too late at all... I only began realizing and accepting myself at about 27, and lots of people do later on in life as well.. So please don't feel it's too late or feel sad.. It is what is and we just need to make the best of it.. Instead of being down that you have missed all that time.. Try to look at the positive that now you are accepting it.. You can begin to live your life as you were meant to.

I think you need to forget the people who might say "I told you so".. Don't let that be an excuse not to come out.. Just ignore those people.. You might not have been ready to accept that about yourself back then and that is nothing to feel ashamed about at all. Also.. You don't need to rush in making any decisions.. How do you feel really about women? You shouldn't try harder just cause you think it would be easier to live life as being straight. If there is no chemistry and you don't want to be intimate or have a romantic relationship with a woman, then you shouldn't feel you have to... Only you will know for sure.. Just give yourself time to process and don't feel you need to label yourself now if you aren't ready to..

I hope you stay around and hang out a bit here.. I really think this site will be wonderful for you.

 

^ Yeah, what she said

 

I was 39 when I accepted myself and came out Bi. Now I'm starting to accept other things about what I really feel, want, and need, so just this week I accepted the label "Genderfluid".

I feel very old some days. I worry that I'm too old at times, but I'm starting to hope that I can enjoy the rest of my life a *lot* more after I've been miserable for so long.

I think you should ask yourself what you *really* want, and what you really *need* to be happy. It's not easy, it won't be easy at all. Talk with us some more. Sharing the experiences of my friends here is helping me find new questions to ask, and new answers.

I wish you well, whatever happens.

 

Whatever age you decide it's time is the right age for you. Because everyone and their situation is different, the right age varies for everyone. It sounds like the right time for you is right now. If anyone tells you "I told you so", then tell them "OK, you wanted to give me a blow job, and I wasn't ready back then, but I am now, so do your best". Or some other friendly guy-insult sort of smart-ass reply to throw the ball back into their court.

 

It all happens for a reason. I also started coming out at 28. And I am glad that I did not come out earlier because I was dumb and naive when I was younger.

All will be well.

 

Hey there. As others have said, it's never too late. I'm 25, and I'm still in the process of coming out. I'm almost there. I thought I was late too because I see all these people coming out in their teens, but we all have our own journey. Coming out seems like such an definitive action, that sometimes I wonder if I'm making a mistake by coming out and that I should try harder to date a girl. But then, honestly, I'm not really attracted to girls, so I doubt I will find that "special one".

 

Im 37 and not out to most people. That includes my parents and the rest of family.
It took me all these years and a lot of gay porn to finally accept myself for who I truly am.

So no, i dont think youre too late. :smilewave. Cheers.

 

It's not too old. I'm 38 and still struggling with accepting being a lesbian. I've known since I was a teenager but have always refused to admit it to myself until recently. I've had the same fear over the years about trying harder... It didn't help, just pushed me further into a depression.

 

I came out at 26. A bit late relatively speaking, but I'm pretty happy with where I am now.

 

I never even admitted to myself I'm trans until I was 32...

And I've yet to come out to family beyond my brother let alone job... ugh.

No its not too late. You're ready when you are.