I know some people choose different ways of coming out to their friends, family, and co workers.. And they may do it differently based on the person or the relationship to the person. My mother process things better through written words and i feel writing a letter will help me get everything out without being interrupted.. It will keep me focus on everything i want to say and address in the letter. And then if she has any questions she could ask then, but at the same time i would like any advice or stories from those who came out through a letter? So i hope to hear any stories or advice people can give me from their experience through coming out in this form or their experience coming out period. My ma is the type who is majorly in denial and anger before accepting things from the knowledge i have of knowing her for my life time. She is also very religious and i feel kinda homophobic. She has constantly said "i don't hate gays, but they don't care for me. So why should i care for them?" And i am afraid she will project that thought onto me and that i don't care for her by being gay or her bringing up my past mistakes toward her and be like "now i understand why you done those things...you are gay." Something far out like that....she has a huge/loud personality...she is not afraid to say what is on her mind, no matter how brutal and blunt it is. I thank anyone who responds to my post, i appreciate it.(&&&)
I wrote a coming out letter to my parents...twice, as a matter of fact, but haven't handed it over yet...I will probably rewrite it another time or two before I do.
I have written one as well but have not given it over... I am thinking of emailing it...? I wrote it back in April and just haven't built up the courage to yet. I think it was about two pages. I just tried to address all the concerns they might have and tell them how I feel... Well, how I am. A letter is much easier.
yea i felt it be easier....and less possible screaming or arguing interrupting me when i am trying to express something in an organized manner. I thought maybe doing it by email..instead of mailing it because then, she could just email me back with any questions. I suck at talking out loud when my nerves are on alert lol. I wouldn't be shocked if mine was 2 pages too. Before i send it..i might post it on here to get feed back..but, is that too personal? Lol
I recently came out to a friend of mine through a letter. It was around 400-500 words. Never had I been so afraid to send an email, but he was very, very accepting. I started out explaining the importance of his friendship to me, then proceeded as necessary. Followed up with a disclaimer stating something along the lines of "If you read this letter in its entirety, thank you." I hope this helps you. Good luck with however you choose to come out!
I'm an FtM who has a girlfriend. I talked to my mother about my girlfriend before I told her that I was transgender. She got very upset, however, and told me that it was just a phase. Since that, we haven't really discussed it much. But now, a year and eight months into my relationship with my girlfriend, my mom will actually talk to her, and tell me to say hi if we're talking on the phone. I wrote my parents a letter almost a year ago concerning my transgender issue. It was a two page letter, and I handed it over right before I had to go on vacation to England for a week. It was probably a cowards' way of handling it, but I knew my mother would react badly, so I also knew that she would need the time to think it over and talk it over with my dad. Unfortunately, the thinking period did not help, and she was furious by the time I came home. Her and my grandmother came to our apartment and had a long talk with my girlfriend and I, where they basically sat and talked shit about us for an hour or two. It has taken my mother a very long time to calm down, but 11 months later, her and I are talking, and I even visit once in a while, and it doesn't feel completely forced. My mother still has issues talking about my girlfriend (seeing as I am still a girl in my mother's eyes, and therefore gay), and she definitely will not discuss anything transgender related with me. But in my opinion, I think a letter is a good way to break something to your parents, as they have more time to think about the issue, and think of how to discuss it with you. It may save you all from a lot of harmful words, that would not have been said if they had had time to consider their choice of words. On the other hand, they might get angry with you for not telling them in person (that was how my mother reacted). I suppose it's all up to what you feel most comfortable with. I hope that was any help, and not just a jumbled mess
thank for telling me your story i appreciate it. I still lean on my mother for a lot. So, i am worried about being kicked out or cut off.
I had a letter written over a year ago.. But I never ended up giving it to my parents.. Just wasn't ready at that point.. Not sure what I did with it either.
If you're dependent on your mother financially and are truly worried she will throw you out then it may be best to wait until you become independent.
Well i recently wrote a letter to my mom and dad telling them i was gay it all went fine. it was an email so one day before school i sent it and then ran for my bus. if your not sure how they will react bring up a lgbtq topic and see how they react
I actually did twice.. One was a hate crime that happened in my city toward i believe homosexual males. And i said "that is so horrible what happened to them. I feel so sad about that." Then my mother responded with, "So what." And i said in response.. "I feel the love in the air..." *sarcasm* and she then said back "i don't hate gay..but they don't care about me so why care about them." Which still sounds like hatred... There is no logic there..it is like generalization. Then we were in a super market and there was a magazine saying Portia (ellen's wife) is pregnant. And i said "oh that is so nice.. Ellen will be a great mom. Happy for them." Then my ma said "It is not her baby, still need a man" I did have a thought that i could make up a mock questionnaire for my patient care about homosexuality acceptance in community and see what her response would be. So idk.. I have decided to wait until i get some internship in just incase she kicks me out i at least have something of experience on my resume. I have done some blah stuff in my life and she has always gotten over it, but i am unsure about homosexuality.
