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Is it too subtle??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Will2M, Sep 27, 2014.

  1. Will2M

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    I am out to a few close friends now and want to continue coming out. But I don't want to go around just announcing it to everyone and I am not sure if I want to do a FB post because it is too much attention. I am kind of shy and introverted, but also secretly crave the limelight I guess.... But that's besides the point :slight_smile:

    What I am asking is, is it too subtle to just change my FB preferences to Interested In Men and Women? It would still show up on a news feed, right? I feel like if I did that it would poke the first hole in the dam to being completely open, as in a facebook post would probably have to follow so rumors wouldn't start.

    Tell me if I am an idiot below :slight_smile:
     
  2. seeking

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    I never got into social medias...but to me that is not subtle nor big, i don't think people will notice...you could go to a lgbt support page on facebook and like some image about bisexuality...like bisexuality exist. To me that is subtle..and some people might be "yes it does!!"...."no it doesn't" or "are you bisexual?" . So i think that is subtle and might open the door...as well as show who might be an allied or not.

    Just a thought and my opinion.
     
  3. ChameleonSoul

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    It seems pretty good to me. You're making your orientation public without turning it into a big deal. This is what I planned on doing at some point, so it's good to know I'm not the only one that thought of doing this.
     
  4. Blossom85

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    I am the same actually.. I have already changed my interest to say men and women, however at the moment, I have it private so only I can see. I got sick of having it saying men only and I didn't want to lie to myself and others by saying i am interested in men.. So no one can see whom I am interested in right now, so technically.. I am not lying on Facebook, I just don't make it public knowledge yet. When I am ready, I will go change it to friends only so all of my friends can see it if they for some reason go onto my profile, so I al all for it. It makes it not a big deal that way.
     
  5. Will2M

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    Okay it sounds like I might do that.

    Seeking I have liked the FCKH8 page on FB and like many posts from it, no one has asked about it but I would not be surprised if people have their suspicions.
     
  6. seeking

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    Ah then maybe not, change your like to men & women and see if anyone notice. I think i have mine undefined...cuz i have no one close to me on my facebook. Just online friends.
     
  7. SemiCharmedLife

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    I also like FCKH8 and post some other pro-LGBT things, even though the only thing I have for personal info is my gender (no relationship status or interested in). It's not too obvious, but enough that people haven't been all that surprised when I've come out to them.
     
  8. Filip

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    It doesn't, actually. Unless they changed in the last couple of months (which is possible. FB changes stuff all the time).

    So it might still end up being totally invisible to everyone who doesn't stumble upon it in your "about me" section.

    Doesn't necessarily mean it's too subtle, though. The most important thing is that it builds up some confidence to being totally open. So if you can live with it not being a big announcement and just a stepping stone to bigger and better things, I'd say go for it!
     
  9. resu

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    Yes, it doesn't show up, but it is very useful for those who are curious. I think facebook knows I'm gay because it's now giving me friend suggestions of other people who are gay.
     
  10. shinji

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    Teach me master!

    Didn't work for me, people just don't care for such small stuff, due to the huge amounts of other (apparently more "relevant") spam that FB throws at you.

    For reference, i've actually changed my cover, avatar, posted a bunch of pretty "obvious" photos and... nothing.

    Nothing better than wearing a rainbow bracelet in public. It's obvious enough and yet subtle enough as well.
     
  11. Yossarian

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    There is nothing wrong with posting Interested in Men if you don't mind being out, but you should then expect a lot of ads to start popping up for expensive underwear and gay cruises on your main feed page. Hopefully that doesn't bother you when people are looking over your shoulder, because it isn't as subtle as the one-liner About stuff unobtrusively appearing on another secondary page.
     
  12. CyclingFan

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    For some very strange reason, I get a ton of ads from Amazon about breastfeeding. So very, very, very mistargeted. :roflmao:

    I changed my Facebook to interested in men and got zero comments about it whatsoever.
     
  13. Dakeli27

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    If you want people to know, I think it is too subtle. If you're ok with them knowing but don't want to make a big deal, it's fine.
     
  14. One Man Army

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    The chances are, nobody will even notice. Unless you tell people you're gay, they will be too caught up in their own lives to notice.