Hey guys, I`m new here and I really need some advice. I have recently (finally) admitted to myself that I am bisexual. I`ve been fighting these feeling I have for years now because I was raised in a very conservative Christian home where homosexuality is considered "wrong," and having my whole family and relatives call gays and lesbians horrible things just made me try even harder to convince myself that I`m straight because I knew they wouldn`t ever accept me. But I have been so much happier now that I have accepted my sexuality and all I want is for other people to accept me too. Anyway, I do not plan on telling my mom that I`m bisexual because I just know its a bad idea - I plan to wait until I go to college and I`m not living with her to tell her. I`m almost 17, so thats not too far away. I do have this adult that I am extremely close to and I really want to come out to her, she has looked out for me for awhile now and has been amazing, She has helped me stop cutting and talked me out of suicide numerous times. The only thing I`m worried about is that she is very Christian and when we have discussed homosexuality before, she made this comment about people "thinking," they were gay when they really weren`t. I don`t know what she meant by that, and I don`t know how she`s going to react to me being bi. Does anyone have any advice on how to tell her? I`ve already asked her if I could talk to her about something sometime, and she said sure, anytime I wanted to. And she said "Remember, I`m not going to "judge" you and I`m going to be honest with you." Then went on to say she would always love me. I`m still so scared though. I don`t know how to tell her something like this and I`m terrified she`s gonna try and tell me I`m just confused or something. I would really appreciate anyone who`s willing to talk to me about this. Sorry this is so long!
I have a lot of experience on being in the other side of coming out of the closet. I've had friends call me in the middle of the night drunk to say they were gay, I' had friends take their partner to my house and have me find out by looking through the keyhole of my door to identify who was behind only to see them making out, and I've had friends come to me and just straight out tell me: "I think I'm gay" (get it? Cause it's not straight at all). I think the best way you could do that would be maybe invite her somewhere private and tell her while you hug her. Just tell her you have something very important to say, hug her and tell in her ear "I'm bi". If you start crying, don't worry, it's normal. Also, the "it's ok" speech that probably comes after that makes you feel a lot better too. Good luck! Also, it's sweet you think your post was long. =) Welcome to the community!
Thank you for replying! I like the idea of hugging her and telling her but I`m just afraid that would make her uncomfortable because I`m admitting I`m attracted to males and females - and she`s a female. does that make sense? I remember approaching the subject with my older sister a year or so ago and she got all disgusted with me.. I`m afraid my friend will do the same..
Hi there. I can relate to a lot of this, and I know it's scary. Your friend sounds like a really nice woman, and I wonder if she might be someone that has simply never known an LGBT person, to know that we are like Everypony, some great, some bad, but that that isn't because of our sexuality. I kinda agree with you that you shouldn't hug her while you are coming out, not at first. If she's the kind of woman you think she is, she'll hug you. If you ever need to talk, I'm here, okay?
Thank you. I was texting my friend tonight and we were talking about Cyrano De Bergerac (a playwright from the 1600's) and just to test her feelings on the subject, I asked her if she knew he was gay. And she said she disapproved. and also the word "blech," so I honestly don`t think I can tell her now. I don`t think she will accept me and it breaks my heart. :`( I guess its just one more person in my life who won`t but I was really was going to tell her and now... I`m not so sure. I was so hoping she would have a more positive reaction to me bringing something like that up. I guess I`ll just stay in the closet. I don`t want to lose her, I respect her immensely and her opinion of me really means a lot.
Rolled up in there is the concept of Ex-Gays. Some believe that with considerable prayer and counseling, you can rid yourself of gay attractions. However, the reality is that it just didn't work, at least not with any great consistency. The fact that some states have brought forth legislation banning "Conversion Therapy" for minors is significant and telling. There is also this: http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/9-former-‘ex-gay-therapy’-leaders-apologize-and-call-its-banning010814 That is also very significant...
