Dear Parent(s) Now, as I bet you’re confused about why you’re reading a letter, I want to inform you on a few things. I gave you a letter last year, October 15th, 2013. It was my coming out, to you both (grandma & dad) you thought it was a phase, and never spoke about it again. I don’t want you guys to recognize it as a phase, I want you to recognize as who I am. I’ve been stressing about this for a long time now, and it has had nothing but a negative impact on my mental health (not physical). It has affected my grades immensely, and I can never tell the actual reason why. As I have stated in the last letter, everybody knows, open about it in school, but it’s when I get home I have to act like a whole different person. I can’t be my true self just due to me being scared of the outcome. By this point I want to explain a few more factors, but regarding to the same topic; me being gay. As you, dad, talked to me in private about how you think it’s a phase, I can definitely tell you it’s not, in no way do I want to sound disrespectful in this letter, I just don’t know how to get my point across. I’ve had a ton of different responses, from gaining friends, to loosing. In no way was I affected by that, since the ones that I lost the friendship from, I could tell that they weren’t my friend to begin with. I’m trying to start a GSA in school (Gay, Straight Alliance) with a couple friends that also want to do good for the school. To my surprise, there’s a lot of people that are homophobic, and have tried to directly speak to me about my sexuality; which is their opinion that they are entitled too. Living in a world where LGBTQ people (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning) have to worry about peoples initial reactions, not having the correct mind-set that everything will be ok, because in reality, it won’t be. I’ve had good reactions, and I have had bad reactions. I can never guess the reaction someone will have it definitely is different from person-to-person. All my friends have been nothing but supportive throughout this process so far, and I hope they continue to be. They know me from who I actually are, and not my cover-up self I have to put on to please people. Both you and dad I don’t know your outlooks on gay people, nor do I have a reason too, all I hope is that you can take this well and accept me for me. Hopefully, you guys have noticed that I haven’t changed one bit (besides hormonal mood-swings, which Is hopefully normal), Nor will I ever change, I do things that will make me happy, not what other people want me out to be. Since I bet you guys are feeling different emotions at this time, I want to answer some questions I am guessing you may have. “What makes you think you’re gay” the same thing that makes you think you’re straight, you just know immediately without experimenting. “Why are you gay” there’s no right answer to this question, I could easily make a list of why I am, but I don’t feel like I have too. You guys have been great, loving and supporting parents, and I hope this doesn’t change one thing. My friends support me and I couldn’t thank them enough, and I really hope you guys do also. Nobody wants to have to do this, but it seems like living in a society like we do, we’re almost forced out of our comfort zone, and we have to tell people who we are, simply because not everybody is supportive. Apparently, we’re the “outcast” of every-day society. While I want to wrap this up, I have a few more things I want to discuss. There’s no way in hell this was forced upon me, by anybody, neither was this a choice it’s just simply who I am. I don’t want to offend anybody with this letter, whoever may end up reading this, being Agnostic people have this total misconceived “thought” on my views, I am open to ANY religion, I just don’t believe in any. I’m sorry if you thought that I was to grow up, have children and so you, dad, can be a grandfather. As I can guarantee we all thought that, since I was young something just wasn’t right, it took a while to figure out, but for the first time in a long time I can actually be happy with everything. It was never my intention to make you feel angry, upset, or disappointed, but sadly they can come without any warning. To wrap this up, I hope you guys can discuss this amongst yourselves and not let it get to you too much, I don’t know if you guys thought it was just a phase, and I got over it or what, but ever since that day I have thought about it DAILY, wondering when I came come out again, I don’t know when I’ll get the courage to give this to you guys, but I know I will someday. Coming out is the hardest thing I have ever done, I wish I didn’t have too but sadly, we do. Dad, or grandma for that matter, if you have any questions ask me directly, or ask someone with a professional field (therapist, counselor) whatever. I don’t want this to stress you out, I just want you to know something more about me. I won’t ask about this directly, just please don’t be hesitant on telling me your thoughts on it, without asking the previous questions, it’s the same answer every time, and it gets old…. quick. People assume things about me before I have a chance to explain, when they take the time I can actually fully explain things. As I have previously stated, I know this isn’t what you thought I would turn out to be, sometimes things happen unexpectedly, I can promise this is for the good. As for more information I haven’t really felt the need to share to anybody but ____, yes I have previously dated girls in the past, felt no true connection, or the least bit interest in them. Again, I’m really sorry if you’re angered by this letter, or whatever you’re feeling, you can always write a letter back, and put it in my room. For me, I can easily express my thoughts more if I write, rather than going up to you guys and telling you individually. Since I have heard Dad react to me, and then what grandma said from other people, I can hopefully conclude this will go smoothly, if it won’t then oh well. I tried my best to make you guys happy, and I hope I won’t disappoint you. As I have been talking to a kid in my grade, I am going to home-coming with him. If you do receive this after, I can say it was good, because I know it will be. I love you guys . P.S: If you guys have any questions, write a letter or talk to me personally, as awkward as it is I’m getting used of having to respond to people with their concerns, or questions. Don’t hesitate, writing this took me awhile, just to get my thoughts clearly expressed, as this is as hard as me to write as you guys to accept. This is nothing on your part, I can definitely assure you this wasn’t failed parenting, you guys have been outstanding on every aspect/level. Hopefully, you guys can continue, even after this. I will provide some sources down below if you want to take a look on what I’m trying to start in school, or if you’re just curious on what the websites are, either way, I tried. Sincerely, Alex M. As it is copy and pasted from "Microsoft Word" the format is wrong, I still have to re-vise it it's just that I have spent a long time on this and I hope it goes well, thanks everybody, love you <3.
I read the whole letter. You are very smart and intelligent young man I guess. You explained everything and showed your respect to your dad and your grandmother. I wish I were as lucky as you were. Just when I was 14-15(the same age you are) my dad found a picture(printout from a webpage) of kissing half naked two guys in my room and told me that was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen and asked my it was in my office. I lied to him and told him that I was trying to download and print straight porn and it accidentally happened. Those days we were using dial up internet so downloading pictures were very common and internet was very slow. He believed me or he wanted to believe me and we never talked about that for the last 14 years. He forgets things quick, the only exception is the football games. I will never be able to come out to my parents. Be proud and if you believe your parents won't disown you and reject you please go ahead. hiding real me from my parents for my whole life has been really hard and exhausting hopefully you wont' have to deal with that. good luck.
Thanks Oscar, I really hope they don't. From what I have gathered, I have never seen them make a homophobic mark, even though theres a possible chance. If you do comeout, I wish nothing but the best for you
Looks good. Don't know if you were looking for spelling help but here are a few the spellcheck won't find.
It was really well written and covered all the things that they might have doubts or questions about. I was shocked then to realize that the person who wrote this said letter was only fourteen :eek:. Congrats
Wow my letter seems inferior i wrote one to tell my parents im gay and it all went well but i was alot less than yours. You are good at expressing your felling's in words i wish you luck
I'm updating what I have added today, along with the mistakes. I really appreciate what you guys have told me, love you all
