I'm a senior in high school (thank goddess), and tomorrow is the first meeting of my school's chapter of GSA; and although I would really like to attend, I am very reluctant to show up. I am not out, by any means, and don't want to go and inevitably draw attention to myself; anyone who's been closeted during high school will see where I'm coming from. Merely attending the meeting, even as a "Straight" guy (which I'm not) might see me the headline of ridicule in my class the following morning. My attendance could arise questions over my sexuality, and I might incidentally "out" myself. And to a student body that uses a certain homophobic slur as an integral ingredient of its vocabulary, I don't want that. As previously mentioned, I would greatly enjoy attending the meetings and being an active member in the club. I'm sure it would help me out a lot (much like EC) and I'd have the opportunity to help others. Who wouldn't want that? But, anyone who knows anything about the hierarchy of high school knows that attending could, quite possibly, be social suicide. Again, I'm closeted and don't want to put my sexually under spotlight. Any advice? Do I go? Or do I sit this one out? Thanks for any and all replies. It is enormously appreciated. Excuse me if this is the wrong place to post this. Feel free to move it.
Um - so when I went to 'gay club' as we called it, (although it too was formally known as GSA) we had a sort of rule: "Don't talk about gay club outside of gay club." The whole function of the club it so act as a support mechanism for those both in and out of the closet - only the people who attend will know that you attended, and they aren't about to blab. The meetings are quite fun, and I definitely think that you should go. No one else would know that you went, and if you school has photographs and portraits for clubs, you can elect not to be in it. Have you ever gone to a club? You just sorta stay after school and no one is going to hunt you down to where ever your going and shout: "_____ is gay!" I'm teasing you a little bit. Go! Have fun!
If you think you would be in physical danger if you accidentally got "outed" by attending the meetings, then don't go. Otherwise, just discretely go and meet some of the other people who are there. It "might" happen that people get curious if you should be seen at the meetings by someone NOT going to the meetings, but you can always keep the door to the closet shut by saying that you believe in equality for everyone and want to support anyone who has decided to declare themselves to be gay, i.e. present yourself as an "ally" for your last year at high school. You will probably not see many of these people again when you leave for college, so what they subsequently think of you when you come out later doesn't mean much, particularly if they are the kind of homophobic jackasses that you wouldn't want to hang out with later anyway.
I would have to agree that other people that go to the meetings are not going to go around saying that you went to the meetings I am sure that you will not be the only one that is scared. You should go you can always sit in the back and stay quite and if you don't like it slip away but I have ea feeling that once you get there and relax a little you will see you really like it . I wish you all the best of luck just remember they are probably just a scared as you are , it is OK to be scared .If you ever want to talk or just vent I would be glad to listen just send me a message .
I feel the same as you right now. I don't know weather I'm going to join or not. I think I might come out first and let all of the ********* in my school laugh it off and get over it so when I do attend or join, I'll have nothing to hide and won't be aashamed of myself because people will already know I'm gay and there ain't nothing they can do to put me down. And 1 more thing. It is a bit irrelevant but when people trying insult me, I often insult myself first and call myself an idiot so the person trying to bully me will not sound offencive but dumb and repetitive. I find it quite funny anyway Regardless, thats what I'm probably going to do so, best of luck mate. The choice is yours and take all the time you need
Wear a paper bag over your head... Joke... Well maybe... Just be thankful that there is a GSA at your school, and knowing that you won't be mauled to death with sticks if you come out... I'm probably exagerating, but you know what I mean , probably.
So what I like to do in these sorts of situations is to brainstorm the positives and negatives of what might happen if you were to attend the meeting. We're going to assume that the meeting has a strict confidentiality policy, which I would think that most do. Can you think of such a list?
RainbowMan has a good point, a list isn't a bad idea at all. I also agree with others, that going doesn't mean you have to out yourself completely. Even if you aren't sure about coming out to the group, you could say that you are an ally. As you develop more trust with the group you could always come out then. I would suggest checking out the group. Remember, that none of us would be where we are now if people before us had not taken a risk. Some risks are bigger than others. Some are smaller. But I would suggest at least checking it out and seeing if it's something you are interested in continuing to go.
When you first said GSA I thought it was Girl Scouts of America and I was like "da fuck?" and then my idiot switch was reset and I realized you meant Gay-Straight Alliance. Just a little side note displaying my stupid lolol. so anyway, I think it would be good for you to get it off your chest (your sexuality I mean). I'm not saying you have to come out but it's just nice to be around other people that ACTUALLY get it. Like they understand the LGBTQ struggle and want to help you through it. So in short, go for it!
i feel ya... just remember this...at least your mother dowsnt work at your high school. Personally i'd go regardless of risks, just be who you are when you go!
Do it, your not gonna lose any true friends from it (anyone who cares about your sexuality isn't worth being called a friend) and I'd love to have a GSA in our school but to be honest sexualities just glossed over
