1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Totally Confused

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nixon, Sep 22, 2008.

  1. Nixon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dundee, Nebraska (It's in Omaha)
    I thought I was Gay when I was 11 when I had a crush on Danny on Road Rules but that came to pass:icon_bigg

    Then last week I was watching some show and a commercial aboput something homosexual:help:

    Then it came back and now I like men again totally confused:bang:


    P.S. Religously I'm good not a crazy homophobic christian Reform Judaism is cool wit it:thumbsup:
     
  2. Nixon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dundee, Nebraska (It's in Omaha)
    P.S. I'm not fem at all
     
  3. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! First of all, what you are experiencing is very normal and there is nothing to be afraid of. Sexual identities can change over time. They are not fixed. It can take a while for people to figure out what their sexual identity is. Even small things can awake all kinds of feelings in us. It is possible that the feelings that you are experiencing right now, will fade again or will become even stronger over time. But whatever your feelings are at the end, know that it is alright and perfectly normal.

    Maybe try not to label yourself at this stage. I think it is important that you explore the feelings that you have and maybe read a few things about homosexuality. Also, ask yourself "am I attracted to guys exclusively? Do I have feelings for girls as well? When I stopped having feelings for guys, what kind of feelings did I have for girls?" It is possible that you always had feelings for guys, but have only now become fully aware of them. With time you will be able to figure out what it all means. But do take your time. There is no rush.

    What might help you in trying to understand the feelings that you are experiencing, is perhaps talking to a counselor. Talking about it and listening to yourself can help you to understand it or make sense of it all. If you can, try to make an appointment with a counselor at you school or outside of your school. The sessions are confidential where you will be able to talk about it freely.

    Try to follow your instincts. Follow whatever feels right for you. If you find that something does not feel right or your body tells you something different than what you would 'expect' take a step back and think about it a bit. Do take your time in figuring it all out.

    I hope this helps a bit!
     
  4. Nixon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dundee, Nebraska (It's in Omaha)
    I go to a Catholic School and I'm already to controversial I didn't Get Confirmed and Converted to Judaism ( That'll make Priests Hate You!") I'm class pres and in Student Council and really don't want something like this. Specially in a school that is pretty homophobic. One example is last week me my friends(Guys Just to Clarify) went volleyball Game and the other team had a man cheerleader and my friend went to such an extent to make sure he was a guy. People were yelling F@G and Queer at him the whole time he ended up crying and no-one did anything and I sat there and watch shocked and disappointed. So there is no way I could even let a single thing slip.
     
  5. Chris

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2008
    Messages:
    148
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Petersburg, Illinois
    i feel so sorry for him!!!:tears: But ya, i'd stay in the close for a while longer, just to be safe!
     
  6. Nixon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dundee, Nebraska (It's in Omaha)
    I know parents were even doing it!
    not mine of course ( Just to Clarify )
     
  7. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi! The feelings that you are experiencing are real and I can understand that you are scared and worried as to what others will think and say. I am sorry to hear as to what happened during the Volleyball game. Know that you do not need to nor have to come out to anyone at this stage. Figure it out for yourself first.

    If you find it too difficult to see a counselor at your school maybe you could seek some help or support from a GLBT group outside of your school. Leaving all the thoughts and feelings bottled up inside is not good and it is important that you do talk about it. If you can, maybe try looking up such a group in your area. Talking to others that have gone through what you are experiencing might help you.

    Know though that we are also here to listen and to lend support as much as we can. Stick around here for a while. Read the threads in the Support and Advice/Coming out stories sections. Feel free to post as much as you want and about anything you need to talk about.

    Hope this helps!
     
    #7 Mirko, Sep 22, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2008
  8. Nixon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dundee, Nebraska (It's in Omaha)
    LGBT is a little to personal for me
    I'm kind of a private person
     
  9. Psychedelic Bookmarks

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,481
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Asteroid has given A* advice. I woul definately encourage you to read around EC a bit and just think over your feelings in private, remembering that attraction to whatever gender is perfectly acceptable and not wrong in any way, no matter what people at school may think. Also, there is no rush. Enjoy exploring things. (*hug*)
     
  10. Sam

    Sam
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    1,109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    You have a lot of thinking to do. Sexuality is confusing and a lot of us take a while to find out just who we are attracted to. Don't worry too much, just ask yourself some questions and really think about the answer and what your body and instincts tell you.

    Questions like:

    Do I find men sexually attractive? How about Women?
    Could I picture having sex with men?
    Could I see myself in a long term relationship with a man?

    In the end just go with what feels right. Good luck!

    Sam