Hey all, I am very glad I found this site. I grew up in an extremely religious household, and...when I realized I was gay, I did some things when I was younger to punish myself that I am not proud of. I finally am starting to accept myself for who I am, and am going to come out soon. I want to tell my best friend first, (who is also responsible for tackling me when I was about to commit suicide{at the time I knew him for all of two weeks}) he saved my life and I feel that I should tell him first because without him I would not be around. Since then I have lost a lot of weight and worked on accepting myself and being honest with myself. I am not worried at ALL about about coming out to my friends, I would probably make a helluva lot more sense to them if I did as well. I am, however, extremely worried about coming out to my family. I KNOW that I will alienate some of them with my decision to be honest about myself, however I am extremely worried about coming out to my Mom/Step dad. (Don't worry, I haven't had any thoughts of suicide in well over 4 years since meeting said friend above). I am moving out of town shortly (about 3 months) and was planning on doing it then, however the more I think about it, the more I want to do it...but I know (like 95% certain) that I would be kicked out of my current living arrangement if I do. I rent my house from my grandparents, who are a fan of "being Gay is a choice, and if you choice it you will burn in hell eternally". An argument for another time on my views on that... What do I do?!?
Another reason that I want to come out, I think I may have met somebody. He made me faster than I could have ever guessed anyone could, and is a great guy. I want to spend more time with him, but I don't want to lie about who he is and then make it so he is part of my veil of lies that I have hid myself behind for so long.
I can definitely relate to you in some parts, though in my situation it's more about "tradition" of having a family and children in my family. Anyone defying this tradition would probably be spat on and left in some dark corner of a abandoned house (not literally). Anyway, I think it's great that you are so confident in coming out to your friends and that it something you should do if you really want to. However, the situation with your family...you should probably keep your sexuality hidden a little longer. There is no need for you to come out to your family if it is so punishing. It's only gonna make you feel worse. About that guy you've met, if he really cares for you he should be fine with keeping your relationship hidden a little longer. Just pretend to be friends if necessary and try to keep the realtionship alive. Eventually you should move out and (perhaps) live together with your special one. Once you live away from your family there's nothing holding you back, do whatever you want and date whoever you wish. Your family should not judge and cause shame on you, and if they do... just suck it up and one day you'll be on your own without their hate or support. You'll get the support from those that really care and matters to you!
Oh man I think I am about to do it, waiting for him to text me back and then I am going to call him. holy shit I am freaking out...but like...in a good way I think ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 09:34 PM ---------- ^ Him being the best friend that is...holy crap I cannot agree more with the little anxious face on my mood bar.
Update : blast it he must have fallen asleep already, bloody east coasters. Not as bad as last night after not telling him though, I am 98% certain that I will be able to tell him the next time we talk. ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 10:25 PM ---------- GDI, we are having the bros for life conversation and I don't know if I can do it. ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 10:34 PM ---------- NYARGH the words on on the tip of my tongue...cmon man. I can do this. gdi I feel like my life is hanging in the balance here
it is a real time coming out story wow. take a deep breath and if you feel it is the right time be brave you can do it dude.:icon_wink
I fucking did it. I told him *Credit to 30 seconds to mars, closer to the edge* seriously, if that hadn't come on I probably would have just gone another day... ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 11:01 PM ---------- *update* I am in absolute disbelief. He is 100% cool with it...I am so incredibly happy right now.
:eusa_clap(*hug*) ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 09:11 PM ---------- come on give us some update. i am really curious.
He's trying to calm me down right now. To him it isn't a huge deal, the amount of anxiety that exploded in my when I told him...literally I thought I was going to have a heart attack or something. Trying to steady my breathing, this is literally the happiest I think I have EVER been. ---------- Post added 7th Oct 2014 at 11:17 PM ---------- Hes walking me through our friendship...seriously I am glad that I have this guy as a friend. Holy shit what a trip...starting to come back down to earth now. This is like an anxiety, ecstatic, confused, relieved swirly I got going on here.
I am really glad it worked perfectly. The first time I came out my heart was beating like 240pbm i know how you feel.
This unbelievably large weight has been lifted...wow. I mean, like I don't even need to tell anyone else, if people ask now, I think I will probably be honest...but, the most important person in my life knows, and that is what I was worried about. *Our relationship is strictly plutonic, and thankfully I was in gay-denial when I meant him, so I never was attracted to him (that, and he is married). Not going to deny that he is an incredibly attractive man, but he is my friend and my brother, and DAMN it feels good to let someone know.
