Am I gay?? so confused & need help

I'm 25 & I've always told people and thought that I was straight. I've only dated one guy in my life and was very unhappy but he wasn't a good guy. I've never dated again since. Men flirt with me & I flirt back somewhat but it's not because I like them but because I think it's what I'm supposed to do. I just started a new job--a month in now--and a woman I work with is gay. I've never met anyone like her. We are so much alike, she's beautiful, sweet, caring and I'm comfortable around her--except when I start having romantic thoughts about her then I get nervous. I think she likes me too despite me holding my ground that I'm straight. We text and talk all the time & in one text she said "why are you not gay? Damn, the kind of woman I'm looking for." And I catch myself flirting with her in texts. I don't know what to do. I'm a virgin as well so I've never been with a man let alone a woman and I'm terrified right now. Am I gay? I get tingles whenever we happen to touch each other--arms, etc. I think about her constantly. I smile when I think about her. I hate being away from her. But I'm so inexperienced and I'm 20 yrs younger so I'm worried she wouldn't be happy with me even if I was gay or told her how I felt. What do you think? What do I do? I'm so confused.

 

You think they're telling me no because I'm not gay or because it's against how I've grown up all this time?

 

lol well it's very confusing and frustrating. I mean I've noticed here lately that I've been paying more attention to women but I kept telling myself it didn't mean anything. But I've never felt this way about anyone especially a woman. But I am still attracted to some men (stocky sweet guys) but I can never picture a future with one at all. I never get tingly around them like I do when I'm around her. I feel safe with her. I'm just afraid of hurting her or getting hurt myself. And I'm scared to actually say " I'm gay" because what if I'm wrong? I don't know. It's frustrating

 

I thought that too but I never really have sexual dreams about men. I'm mainly attracted to that kind of look. But I have had dreams about this woman

 

I've only known her for about a month so not really comfortable asking her if she thinks I'm gay. She told me she can always tell when someone is and tonight when I was talking to her and I was telling her I was confused about things--thoughts & feelings she told me that's how she felt when she first came out. She said I know this probably doesn't apply to you before she told me that. The rest of the night she kept saying well just follow your heart and she told me more stories about her first times being gay and that she sees a lot if herself in me whenever we talk but I don't know if she was trying to say she thinks I am without actually saying it or what.

---------- Post added 5th Oct 2014 at 11:01 PM ----------

And my phone's acting up and won't let me search. What's a trigger crush?

 

Well men scare me (been hurt in the past) and I don't trust them despite being attracted to or thinking a certain look is handsome but the way I feel about her gives me constant butterflies. There were times in my past when I would dream about men but before the dream turned sexual I always lost interest and dropped it. When I think about kissing her or even just hugging her I get a major adrenaline rush. I've never felt this way before. We went out Friday night with a couple of her friends and she put her arm around the back of my chair, we sat right up against each other and I even stayed the night at her house in her bed because it was too late to drive home and I have never been so nervous in my life.

I could be wrong but I think I'm gay

 

I'm going to try. I think I may wait a little longer to see if anything changes before I say anything or see how things developed especially after we hang out again at her friends (a gay couple) house next Monday night and we'll be staying the night. I think I'm going to just sort of flow with it and see what happens. I mean I get the feeling she thinks I'm trying to tell her all this but I don't want to scare her or anything like that

 

That's what it feels like she's doing too. I'm just scared cause she's so experienced and I'm not and I'm afraid I would bore her or make her feel uncomfortable or something. I toldbher tonight I was a virgin and she didn't really have much to say about it other than she understood why (I told her about 2 guys in my past who were pressuring me with sex & it's scared me ever since). So I just hope that didn't make her see me as some weird person that she doesn't want anything to do with. And yes she is definitely making me question my sexuality. And I'm scared because so far no one in my family is gay or at least no one I've met and I'm worried about how they're gonna react if I act on this and I'm basically just scared all around. And thank you king for the private message offer!