Hey So i finally feel pretty comfortable with who i am. I kinda dont want to lable myself yet, but I feel like its ok for me to like women and its also ok that i dont know if i like men. But here is my question: My best friend asks me a lot about what type of men i like lately. I told her i dont know... On the one hand, i would like to tell her that i dont even know if i could be happy in a relationship with a man at all. But im scared that she would somehow freak out. Shes totally fine with all kinda lgbt people, but i think its something different when i tell her that i am interested in women. Im also gonna go to college in less than a month and i then wanna start dating girls (finally). So, do you guys think i should rather wait telling my best friend til im seeing someone? Or should i tell her now? I thought maybe some of you struggle with something similar.... i dont know... Just let me know what you think
I'd say that it shouldn't really matter if you're in a relationship. If you feel comfortable with telling her, then you should follow that feeling. Just make sure that it doesn't come across as you trying to flirt with her (this is a big misconception some people get when others come out to them). If she's fine with other LGBT people, I think she'll be more than comfortable accepting her friend as being a part of that. If you come out to her now, it'll be much easier than trying to come out as distant friends, because I know a lot of people who have had trouble with that because it's difficult to find the right time and place when you're apart. Good luck!! (*hug*)
Tell you when you're comfortable. If she's genuinely a good friend, she'll accept you, so don't worry.
Just like some of the other posts mentioned, if she truly is a good friend she WILL accept you no matter what. You even mentioned that she was somewhat okay with other LGBT people, so that just makes it even more likely that she won't mind. In fact, if I were her I'd probably be even more happy that you told me something that's really been bothering you. It means you trust me, and that would mean a lot to me. If you're still unsure how she would react, why don't you try giving her small subtle hints about you being into other girls and see how she reacts. Too bad I can't really relate to you since I've never had a best friend, but if I were in your situation I would probably wait it out till I've actually met someone. Having someone to love and support you would make it much easier to explain how you feel, and she (your best friend) would most likely see how it really is. Whether she accepts you then shouldn't really matter, now does it? You've found someone more important to spend your time with, your love. Life goes on whether you want it to or not, and friends come and go. If she doesn't accept you after you come out to her, perhaps it's simply the time for you guys to break the bond and move on. But what do I know? :icon_wink
Hey everyone, Thank you so much for your oppinions and sorry that it took me so long to respond. Well i did not come out to her since things got kinda messed up... but thats another story. Fact is im in college by now and it indeed would have been a lot more complicated to tell her now. So I decided not to. But then I met this girl... Nothing serious (yet) but it made it more real and I felt the need to talk to someone. I mean she knows how I feel and so on but I really wanted to share it with a friend that I finally started seeing someone. So i invited my best guy-friend over last night and after like 3 hours talking about random stuff I came out to him. He took it really really well and is really supportive. I am so glad I finally came out to someone who knows me as good as he does. Thanks again for your help!!!!!!!!
