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Coming Out Letters

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Wolfiee, Oct 6, 2014.

  1. Wolfiee

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    I have two people I'm thinking of coming out to first, but I am unsure which. So I've decided to write both of them a letter and I was hoping you guys would read through them for me?

    The first person is my friend who I'm closest to but is slightly against homosexuality but still accepted a gay friend:

    Dear Friend A,

    Just wanted to write a letter to you explaining something. I’ve been too anxious to be able to verbalize this to you so I thought writing this down might be easier.

 For a long while now I’ve been dealing with a lot, I’ve been very depressed and anxious about this. The situation I’m in is extremely difficult for me, which is why I’ve chosen to reach out to you. Well before I start rambling before the big news:

    I’m gay. 


    Now before you jump to conclusions. I’m still same-old-me, I am just attracted to the same sex. I did not choose to be like this, it’s similar in the way that we can’t choose the colour of our eyes or hair. It’s just a part of who I am and I hope you understand.



    I should also mention, all those guys I had ‘crushes’ on was part of my self-discovery. The last guy I had a ‘crush’ on was really just me lying to myself. I was ashamed of having feelings for girls, so I tried to distract myself with boys. I won’t lie, he is good looking, but I just don’t feel anything for him or any of the other guys I’ve had ‘crushes’ on in the past.

    So by now, you’re probably still a little shocked, but I hope that doesn’t effect our friendship. I am terrified of telling people this, but the reason I chose to write you this was because I trust you the most. And I know you’re not exactly a-okay with homosexuality in general, but I know how you were still respectful to Friend B for his sexuality, I don’t plan on changing your view, but I hope you don’t let that opinion change your opinion of me. 


    The reason I’ve felt so depressed and anxious is because I have felt so trapped. I don’t know if my parents would still love me the same or at all if they knew. I was scared earlier to tell my friends, including you about this, but when Friend B told everyone how he’s gay and I saw how supportive everyone was, I was confident I’d have that same amount of support, yet its taken me longer than I would’ve thought to actually come out about this. 

So to wrap this up, for now I’d like to keep this between just us until I’m comfortable to tell the others. I just really needed to get this off of my chest and I want to be open and honest about myself instead of hiding away in a closet.

    Hope all is well,
    
Your Friend


    My other friend who I'm planning on coming out to is also gay:

    Dear friend B,



    I know we’re not the closest, but we do get a long well and you do share a lot with me about yourself so I thought I would reach out to you about this. You might think I would’ve just told someone like Friend A about something as important as this, since we’re closer to each other, but I feel you would just understand. I decided to write this was because I’m too scared to verbalize it and I also don’t get a lot of time with you to have a proper conversation without someone being able to hear it. Well, without further ado,

    I’m gay. 



    You probably did not see that coming, I apologize, I’m just that good at keeping things to myself. I’ve have known for a long time and when you came out to me I was happy. I finally had a friend I could talk to about this sort of thing. Don’t worry, I forgive you for pretending to be the most homophobic person on the planet to cover up, I pretended to be a straight girl for most my life.

    It’s been super difficult trying to figure this out, but not as difficult as keeping it to myself so my parents don’t find out. They do not agree with homosexuality at all, so its been best to keep my mouth shut, but also the worst. I’ve been keeping this to myself for so long, I honestly thought of telling you the day you told me, but I don’t even know what happened and now its taken me this long to actually talk about it.

    

I know I’m a Christian, but I decided I can have both. I’ve just gathered my own opinions about homosexuality and religion, but it is tiring hearing the same old, “it’s wrong” from people as well as “do you like any guys at the moment?” from people who think I’m straight.

    So I hope you’re cool with this and please keep this between us, I’m not comfortable with everyone knowing yet. I just really needed to get this off my chest and I don’t want to be in the closet anymore. 



    - Your Friend

     
  2. Wolfiee

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    opinions?
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    Just read them both and I think they are well considered and well written too. The most important thing is that you are happy with them, as they are your letters to your friends.

    I'd be happy to receive either of them.

    Good luck. :thumbsup:
     
  4. Blossom85

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    I agree with Patrick, I think they are really well written, and very well thought out as well.. I hope it all goes well with coming out to them both.
     
  5. ajsivy

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    i also agree honestly i have been to much of a chicken to say it out-loud everyone who know i have messaged or sent texts but best wishes.
     
  6. BiErik

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    Everybody has their own way. Yours looks good.