I cosplay. During dinner I was telling my mum about seeing someone on youtube make themselves look like a guy using makeup, and all of a sudden my mother asks me: "Are you lesbian?" I hesitated, then she asked me again. I told her 'I'm not comfortable speaking about this right now.' and she just glared at me and said "If you're not comfortable, something is wrong. She went on to force the truth out of me, I wasn't ready at all. I told her I'm bisexual, she kept quiet then told me how upsetting it was, and asked if I was a butch. She said things like 'When you're older, you'll grow out of it.' What hurt the most is when she told me to 'not influence your sister', I told her I didn't have a choice over her sexuality, and she just snorted and told me 'People like you are just plain liars.' She blamed my LGBT friends for my sexuality. My mum posted on facebook 'I don't know how to be a mother anymore.' I just... I don't even know what to say. My mother has always been a hypocrite. She tells me she's not homophobic because she has gay friends, but that clearly isn't the case. Her boyfriend also has expressed his hatred and disgust towards the LGBT. This place is extremely suffocating, everyone doesn't support the LGBT because we are a 'conservative society', and even the media has banned all items that imply and clearly show LGBT people. But as of now, I don't know what to do. My r/s with my mother is clearly strained, and she keeps acting like she's right. Help?
im sorry that happened i hope it all gets better but if you want pull her aside or right a letter explaining why you were not ready to be out and want more time but i don't have much experience in that so im sorry were all here for you
I'm sorry that you're having to go through this! Unfortunately, I have a mother like yours..and even though I'm older, she STILL has to be right. Mothers are supposed to be supportive of their children, and when they're NOT, it makes life harder. Bottom line...IT'S YOUR LIFE..NOT your mom's. Don't listen to her negative and demeaning comments, and don't get into any extensive discussions. YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING, no matter what you identify as, and nobody can change that, or take that away from you, not even your mom. Obviously she's gonna be on this 'woe is me' thing, and try to get anyone she knows to listen. IGNORE THAT and keep on truckin'! Know that there are people out there that know EXACTLY what you're going through, and YOU'RE NOT ALONE. Hang in there! (*hug*)
I totally agree with everything DarkestDream just said on this. I have homophobic parents too, and my mother did the "woe is me" thing to people for years. You don't have to let her or her boyfriends attempts to make you feel bad for how you feel.
im so sorry that your mother reacted like that. Im pretty sure she still loves you, she is just in denial(i think we all can relate to that).just dont stop being yourself, and remember that nobody on EC will turn you away, we all love you anyway.
I am sorry to hear you were forced to come out before you were ready, it's always hard to let those things out when you aren't ready for the reaction and outcome. I wish the world was a different place where people didn't have bad reactions to this kind of news so we didn't need to feel guilty or ashamed of who we are. I think just keep being true to yourself and let think whatever she wants.. You know it's not true, and it's her ignorance that makes her think that way, so you are already in a better place then her. It's hard when your parents can't be accepting of their children, but don't let her or her boyfriend stop you from living your life and being who you want to be. Always stay true to who you are.. And know we are all here for you at EC.. If you ever need to talk, we are always here to listen.
give it time. My folks were pissed at me. Back when I was seventeen. I told them I was bisexual. They reacted angrily said some hurtful things to me and so on. But later on they apologized. I was caught possessing pornography. You have to understand it'shard for them too. Butif she loves you, shewill come around Ifshe doesn't, thanyou don't have to live there forever. .
First of all I'm really sorry you had to go through something like that. When i told my mom I thought I was bisexual she was really supportive and that's one of the things that actually kept me together, having the support of my family. I don't know if you've told anyone asides your mom about your sexuality but if you haven't I think you should talk to someone who you know it will support you and even just talk to, of course only if you want and are comfortable in telling them. One other thing that kept me from getting depressed and slam my head in the wall :bang: sometimes ( by the way due to the ignorance of people in general and the assumptions that society makes like if you're gay you need to come out, I mean why does everybody assume that you are straight unless you tell them otherwise, I'm telling you if being gay were the norm and straight people had to "come out" maybe they would realize how ridiculous, painful and stressful "coming out" it would be ) sorry I got a little bit off the point, either way, I used to see motivational videos on YouTube and follow lesbian youtubers, they actually helped a lot. Of course you have us all here if you need any support or if you just wanna talk, but I think that in this case for me YouTube was better than anything else cause I got to see people talk about their experience, journeys, struggles and the upsides of being a little different. Once again I'm really really sorry this happened to you, sorry this text was to long, I hope I helped in anyway I could, remember you'll always have people who support and care for you in the EC and if you ever wanna talk ( BTW: HUGE fan and addict in anime and girls :icon_wink ) you can come to me.
Wow, that is a pretty tough situation. No one should ever have to come out before they are ready. If you're going to have to deal with your mum, then you might have to tell her what bisexuality really is and how it isn't this huge life-changing choice meaning everything she's ever known about you was a lie. Also, you said your mother's boyfriend, so is there a father of yours that is more supportive and would understand? If you haven't already, you might want to tell someone you trust about your situation as of the moment so if things ever go really bad you could remove yourself from a potentially bad environment.
