Hey guys, Kayden here. So with Saturday being National Coming out day (i believe anyway), I decided to write my mom a letter, coming out as Transgender to her. Im super nervous and wanted your opinion. Im giving it to her on thursday, leaving it in her room before I leave for the weekend. So, Here goes. Dear Mom I have been trying to tell you something for the last couple weeks but havent figured out how. Usually I'm too scared that you will think it is a phase or that Im being stupid. But I have been feeling this way since 7th grade or so. What I'm trying to say is that I am transgender. I am assuming you know this means that I feel as if I am supposed to be a boy. I understand this may be hard, if not impossible to accept. That is fine. i just dont want to be made fun of or kept from expressing myself as a man. If you have any questions I am, as always, willing to answer any of them. I would like to be called Kayden, but I understand if you may not want to. I also would perfer male pronouns, but again, I get it if you can't. it's hard to except that your "little girl" wants to become a boy. I am still duh, I am still your child and i still love you. This is not an act of rebellion. this is also not your fault, david's fault (for not being around) or my fault. It is noone's fault. As lame of an excuse as it may be, it's just the way I am. Back to how I've been feeling this way for years, It really started in middle school. I have this feeling that I wasn't normal. (pfft as if that's old news lol) But I didnt feel like a normal girl. I always felt bigger, not just my weight, but my...presence...for lack of a better word. I didnt say anything because I was an outcast as is. Also I didnt know that transgender was a thing. I admit I have been girly. But i wanted to fit in with the other girls. The makeovers and doing my hair, wearing girly things. Anything to fit in. It wasnt undtil after graduation, when i joined the GSA (gay straight allience) that I found out about gender identities and transgender. I started researching gender identities, just being curious, but I assumed transgenders were alot like drag queens or that guy from Rocky Horror Picture Show. It wasnt until I met loki, and Lyra came out, that i realized I was wrong. Remember a while back when I cut my own hair really short? I was going to come out then, but Justins said he would leave me. In hind sight, maybe I should have lol. Well, Like an idiot, to keep him, I did the "try to fit in" thing. Carly didnt care much either way, but still, girls tend to be more malicious. Now I her realized that all I can be is me. No one can be me in my place. I hope that this helps you accept my transition. I love you so much. Love always Kayden PS: I am giving you this note when i'm going to be gone for a few days so that if you are angry about it, you have time to cool down before we actually talk about it. Also so that if you don't want to talk about it right away, You have time to ..."come to terms w/ it" i guess. i love you and if you hate me for this, i'm sorry. ((Ok, so one: Duh is my nick name she calls me cuz my brother couldnt pronouce my given name when he was a baby and David is my biological father. Carly is my girlfriend that passed away a bit ago and Justin...well he's just an ex I live with for a while. Not important lol. Thank you guys for any help you might give me. I am super nervous about this, so wish me luck. heading to bed now, so hear from you guys in the morning. Gnight)) <3 Kayden
That is well written and I think she should be able to understand the letter as you have written it.. It is always hard to think of the right words, however what you have there sounds very acceptable to me. I hope it all goes well for you when you give her the letter.
I can't see any problem with the letter. When it comes to letters I think they should be personal and from the heart and that's what I see in your letter. Have you given any thought to the questions your Mom might ask and your responses? I always think it's a good idea to go through the likely questions in your mind and consider your answers. Whilst it's possible your Mom will say nothing immediately, there will come a point where she will ask questions and will expect some answers. Most of the questions will likely begin... What? When? How? Why? It's better if you are prepared for them, otherwise you will be scrambling around for answers in the heat of the moment and that's not the best way to go. Very good luck! Will you let us know how it goes?
Oh gods, thats what keeps me up at night. Personally, i dont see her doing much other then brushing it off. But, I have gone over the questions like about surgery and about hormones, about me hanging out with my friends too much and weither they've pushed me to do this, what about me and my boyfriend and my want to get married. Those are some of the bigger points. But Ive thought about my responses and I tend to just tell it as it is.
