Student Killed In Car Accident At My School

well... I've been in a similar spot Dave, my friend from eighth grade's ten year old brother died of heart problems early in the summer, the funeral was very sad. I didn't see her until the beginning of the school year and all I could feel was guilt, her summer was ruined by this tragic loss.

 

Something similar happened to me when I was in high school. One of my friends (Xavier) had a brother with a mental disability, and committed suicide by jumping in front of an oncoming train. It was a very emotional two weeks or so, if I remember correctly. Basically, I don't remember anything changing, except that everyone made sure that Xavier was okay. If anything changed, it was that grudges and anything dramatic was put on the back burner. Everyone seemed to be friends for a while, no matter how much they hated each other. Three weeks later, it was back to life as usual.

Good luck. Just make sure you let your friend know you are there for him.

 

yeah but i think she's over it now...so that's a good thing

 

My sophomore year of high school there was an accident on the way back from lunch. Two juniors died and two were injured. It was such a weird feeling. I didn't know these girls, or even remember seeing them in the hallways but I cried. For the few days after the accident they made announcements telling us that the counselors were available in the mini auditorium and we could leave class whenever we needed to if we couldn't make it through. Hopefully your school will have something like that available for you the next few days.

 

my school has seen this....3 times with kids in the school. heart defect, suicide and car accident. then we have a graduate from a few years ago killed in virginia tech, some graduated seniors killed in a car crash...

the school pulls together and grieves. they remember the person that they once were, and they celebrate that.

counselors come to the school (or at least mine) to talk with students who knew the victims, or are upset.

the best thing to do is keep your friends and family close.

 

Yea this reminds me about someone who hanged himself a few years ago. Everyone thought he was gay, but I dont know if that had anything to do with it. One of my best friends was a good friend of his and she was really shaken up. Everyone in school was pretty quiet and sad when they found out.

 

The best you can do would be to try and go through the daily routine as normally as possible, comforting your friend when they need it. Do try to see if they need support, but if you try and force your way into their business it becomes awkward and uncomfortable. For your own sadness, you could see a school counselor, a third-party professional, or you could just use EC to talk about it. There's always someone here.

 

As Wander said, just go along like normal, it may be hard, but it's the best thing you can do. If you need to talk to someone, go to the school counselor, they are always on call after a tragedy at the school.

Things like this happened yearly at my school, and my senior year, one of them was my friends, but she survived. Her and a friend of hers were on the way home for thanksgiving, and flew off a 150 foot cliff in their car. Her friend crawled up the slope to the highway to get help for my friend, and she was told she'd never walk again, but by graduation, she was on crutches, and was an inspiration for our class.

As I said, it happened often at our school. If your friend looks like he needs someone to talk to, just let him know you're there. Sometimes people just want to be left alone, but also like to know there's someone they know willing to talk to them. However, the last thing you want to do is ignore them. Try to act normal, unless he brings it up. My friends mom died my sophomore year, and I told her I was there to talk to if she ever needed to, and she thanked me on the last day of school for telling her I was there for her.

 

Alright, this is a little weird, but...

Just this morning, we found out that the brother of a student here had been killed in a car crash the night before. You and I live in different states, there's no way it was the same person, but it was really awkward being told the story when I had just read yours.

 

>>>How do you act in school after this sort of thing?

Same as always. While you mull over this thought, and come to grips with it. And if your see your friend, tell him you're there for him (her).

Lex

 

Last January, someone I knew (not very well though) got into a car crash. She was driving. In the car was her brother and their friend.

The driver suffered a concussion and a few cuts and scrapes.

The other kid also suffered a concussion and a few cuts and scrapes.

Her brother broke his pelvis, his arm, suffered a concussion, and his bladder burst.

What happened was, she hit a patch of black ice, down a country road (legal limit 55 mph), and hit a pole. The car was basically cut in half.

Even though no one died, we sent them cards, flowers, and stuff like that.

But, the last time someone died, they put a memorial thing in the yearbook and asked as all to remember that person.

 

During my high school career, two teachers from the school died (from health conditions, outside of school). I never had either of the teachers but it did shake up the people that did have them. I helped with the memorial ceremonies, not so much for me but to try and give some comfort to those that were grieving.

In junior high one of the students died from ongoing heart problems. Her parents were devastated, but I didn't really know her.

I found it kind of weird because I felt like I should feel bad, but didn't because I don't personally know them.


Let your friend know you're there for them, if they need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to collect their homework if they take time off class.

Don't bottle your feelings up. I know in a few of my classes we would have a discussion, just so people could share their emotions. As others mentioned there's frequently counselors available if you feel like you need someone to talk to.

Generally I found after the memorial / funeral things at school start going back to normal.

 

I don't think you should avoid the topic however don't get too deep either. Just a simple "I'm sorry and I wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you." says tons! Then if she wants to share more, she can.

 

Nobody in my school has died, but my class has suffered the loss of several people's parents. Over the past three/four years, 7 kids (out of 160/170) have lost a parent. When the kids come back, it's hard, but you have to go on like normal. I think that is what is best for them, to just re-establish some sense of normalcy.

In the class that graduated two years ago, one of the most loved members of their class had been killed in a farm accident after his 8th grade year. Even though I never knew him, I still cried when his best friend gave his speech at graduation. It's terrible that people have to die so young, when they have so much ahead of them.

 

David... What did the guidance counselors say to you that put you on bad terms? Just out of curiosity.

The advice that the others gave about doing things normal is about all you can do. Take a day and grieve, then try to keep busy. I'm not saying forget about it. That's not really something you can forget about. But try to find things that make you happy. I had my Kyle stay the night and hold me so I'd have a shoulder to cry on. What helped me the most was going to my discussion class. Try to get into a really deep conversation that is completely away from the topic of Chris' death. Thinking critically about something other than what is bothering you is the quickest way to get away from the pain. It doesn't erase it, but makes it easier to cope with.

I know I'm not in high school with you anymore, but WHS is still home to me. Chris' death shook me up too. Know that you can talk to me about it any time that you need to. If I'm in class I'll get back to you as soon as I can. And just let his sister know you're there for her. Offer her your support and just be there when she needs you. There's not much more you can do for her. A person goes through the grieving process at their own pace. Just let her know you are her friend and there to talk if she needs you.