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I'm really scared

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mind Freak, Sep 24, 2008.

  1. Mind Freak

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    Of ending up regretting decisions I make and not being happy with what I get out of life.

    What I'm mostly scared of is ending up like my parents and grandparents. I love them to death but sometimes I get the feeling that they aren't happy with the way things turned out... in some aspects stuff is a mess.

    It's just... idk.

    I'm just worried my dreams are going to be bigger than I am;; I'm worried tables will turn and obstacles will pop up that will break me. I know I'm not that strong of a person mentally/physically I just don't feel I'm going to make it sometimes. : (

    I need a hug.

    There is good news though;; I get baptised in 3 weeks. : )
     
  2. ScentedRegrets

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    I am sorry that you are feeling that way. Can you explain what you mean a bit more? I am having trouble trying to assess why you are feeling that way. Do you feel that your grandparents' dissatisfaction is with you, or with the route that they've traveled during their lives?
     
  3. Nixon

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    lower them not everyone can be president but a lot more can be state senators

    (Probably not the best advice)srry
     
  4. Malchik89

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    goodness boy you are only 15, this is the time to dream big! because you have enough time to make them come true, no matter how colossal or out there they might be :slight_smile:
     
  5. Mind Freak

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    I have a habit of expecting too much of myself, people, just everything.

    And I just know that life didn't turn out for anyone in my family like they planned...
     
  6. biisme

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    (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

    a bunch of hugs just for you!
     
  7. Mind Freak

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    Haha. Thanks. :slight_smile:
     
  8. ScentedRegrets

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    My experience, granted as a 23 year old, has shown me that life rarely goes according to plan. But I want you to really think about that for a second. If we all knew exactly what was going to happen in life, what would be the purpose of living it. The unknown makes life interesting, diverse, and overall, exciting. My advice, as Malchick said, understand that you are 15, set some goals, and most importantly, think about what you want to get out of life.

    Here is what I did. And yes, this is the businessman side of me talking. I set short, mid, and long term goals. Short term: buy an HD TV and a gold chain, start looking for a townhouse or condo. Mid term: come out to my father, request a promotion at my job, invest time in socializing with friends more, designate one night a week to getting out to try to meet new people (perhaps boyfriend), put down payment on a townhouse, and lease a new car. Long term: go for my MBA, assess where I stand in finding a boyfriend and rev up the search if need be, take my parents on a cruise.

    Summary: have goals in life, but don't micro-manage every minute of your life. Live and let live... let things happen. Everything happens for a reason, I believe.
     
  9. Mind Freak

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    ^^ Great advice.
    I'm just a picky person and I don't like surprises unless it involves gifts.

    And all kinds of negative unexpected stuff happened(s) in my family tree so I'm spooked I'll get the bad luck too.

    Maybe I just want perfection too badly.
     
  10. Lexington

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    A few things to keep in mind.

    You're going to have to make millions of decisions in your life. Most are very innocuous - "crispy or soft taco?", "green or yellow shirt today?". But yeah, there are gonna be some big ones. And the ramifications can be great. BUT - and this is key - in almost every case, the ramifications are handleable. Maybe you had your choice of two jobs, and the one you picked ended up being awful (and the other one would've been stellar). Yeah, that sucks. But you know what? Other job opportunities come along. Maybe the next one to come up will be better. Or perhaps even better than that job you turned down. So first thing to keep in mind - "I can handle this". Because you can. You're going to make some wrong choices - we all do. But you can handle them. Your life might have been better if you had curved right instead of left, but you can handle the ramifications of turning left. Just make sure you make the right decisions when they matter most - "I have a ton to drink tonight - should I drive home?" Those ramifications you don't want to have to deal with. :slight_smile:

    Try to keep in mind one huge overreaching premise. Time moves in one direction - forward. It's like being on an escalator or a moving platform. You'll note everybody faces forward on those. That's because the important crap is what's ahead. If you turn around and look at the stuff that's passed, you may miss something that's coming up (or have something ram into you). So resolve to keep your eyes forward. Watch where you're going rather than where you've been. If you spend all your time planning your next move, you won't even have time to dwell on your past ones. :slight_smile:

    1. You can handle this.
    2. Eyes forward.

    Go kick ass. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  11. Jim1454

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    I've shared this with someone else already today...

    You're serenity is inversely proportional to your expectations.

    Think about it. The higher your expectations, the more likely you'll be disappointed, and at the very least stressed out trying to get them all to become a reality for you. On the other hand, if you accept that some things are beyond your control and they'll either happen or they won't, it's far easier to be happy.

    Focus on today.
     
  12. There's no such thing as a perfect person, it is your ability to accept and admire your imperfections, the things that make you human, that makes you as perfect as it is possible to be.

    Thats what my greatest teacher of all time, my wonderful art teacher used to tell me when I was feeling bad. Bless her heart, she rules. I think it makes alot of sense, she always did used to know exactly the right thing to say.