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I'm scared people will think I'm coming out as lesbian for attention

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Elementsroyalty, Oct 12, 2014.

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  1. Elementsroyalty

    Elementsroyalty
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    The reason I fear this is because I dress quite femininely. I'm always wearing either a dress or a skirt and put a lot of thought into my outfits. It's something that makes me confident and happy with myself. (It's funny because I have a more masculine personality yet I like fashion). But, I feel this will give people the impression that it is just some silly girly phase, or worse, I'm just doing it to get attention.
    I already get a bit of attention from guys by the way I dress. Not because its slutty at all, just because it looks like I'm trying to impress them. I imagine it looks nothing like what they think a lesbian would wear. I feel that this might make them think I'm just playing hard to get.
    I want people to take me seriously when I come out, because its something I've thought long and hard about. But I don't want to change my sense of style just to make it more believable.

    I guess what I'm asking is: is this what people really think when a seemingly feminine girl comes out as gay or am I just being paranoid? Any advice as to what I could do to not give people the wrong impression.
     
    #1 Elementsroyalty, Oct 12, 2014
  2. Tardis2020

    Tardis2020
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    I feel like it is problematic that society believes all gay men are feminine and all gay women are masculine, I don't think people will see it as looking for attention. Unless you talk about being gay constantly.
     
    #2 Tardis2020, Oct 12, 2014
  3. oscarneedslove

    oscarneedslove
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    Most of the closeted LGBT individuals are scared of being judged by the society. Lack of empathy and intolerant people lead us to stay longer in the closet. Don't worry about what they think. It is not worth it because they don't think how hard for us to stay in the deep dark lonely closet for so long. EC is one of the few places where you don't get judged and almost everyone is supportive.
     
    #3 oscarneedslove, Oct 12, 2014
  4. Really

    Really
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    If anyone suggests you're doing this for attention, you could mention that there are a thousand other ways of getting attention, all of which are less stressful and emotional.
    Then ask them to think twice before saying something like that again.
     
    #4 Really, Oct 12, 2014
  5. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    You pose an interesting question. So may I ask, regardless of why your coming out, why should there be an issue even if you were seeking some attention for it?
     
    #5 OnTheHighway, Oct 13, 2014
  6. Haim

    Haim
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    I'm really interested to hear how things go for you as I am similar in that I am quite 'girly' appearance and fashion wise and am still in the process of coming out. So sticking around to see the advice.
     
    #6 Haim, Oct 13, 2014
  7. jay777

    jay777
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    You're not alone, there are many who go through the same...
    of course you do not have to change your style, I would just tell that you did not choose your orientation, this is how you feel and that you just do this because it feels right... and it has the potential to make you more happy...
    There are studies showing that orientation for some women might change later in life, but that is not voluntarily neither... its really how they feel.

    I would just state this is how you are and how you feel... like they know they are straight.

    (*hug*)
     
    #7 jay777, Oct 13, 2014
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