First off I am sorry if this is long. Just really need help I have recently accepted that I'm gay. I accidentally confessed my feelings to a woman I work with who is gay as well. She said she was fine with me confessing but she was worried about being 18 yrs older, this being new feelings for me but that she liked me a lot but didn't want to hurt me if it didn't work out. Plus she just got out of a bad relationship but I still really felt awkward for a few days. She also started getting sick that same night with bronchitis. We talked on the phone Thursday for about 20 minutes and it felt like we broke through that awkward wall. But she hasn't talked to me much since then. Of course the bronchitis turned into pneumonia and she is really sick now. But up until today she was still liking posts on my Facebook so I didn't feel weird anymore. But today after I texted her asking how she was she was telling me about having to stay overnight in the hospital and how much her meds are but that she wouldn't be able to afford them. Well I offered to help her get some of them--just so she can get better--and she replied "no ma'am I won't let you do that. I really appreciate it but I can't accept that from anyone". I told her I understood that And that I do hope she gets better soon. She said thank you and I said let me know if you do need anything. Does it sound like I'm freaking her out? Accidentally coming on too strong? Over thinking? Or maybe it's just silent and weird between us right now because of how sick she is & the fact that we haven't had an actual chance to talk about all this? What should I do? Should I continue to text her asking her how she's feeling or just not send her anything for a few days and/or wait until or if she sends me something?
If you like her, keep checking up on her now and then. If she likes you back she won't mind frequent check-ins. She doesn't sound freaked out by what you wrote. Honestly, nothing even seems wrong. You two seemed to have flirted a little and maybe it was sudden and it's freaking you out? From the information you provided I would suggest just to carry on. If she's that sick and talking to you like that, I would say you're pretty special to her!
Again, sorry if this is long. Thank you so much! I've been worrying all night especially about offering to get her some meds and afterwards I thought oh god maybe that freaked her out or made me seem clingy or something. We've known each other for a little over a month and being around her made accept what I had been questioning since I was a teenager. We have flirted in texts & in person. We even play wrestled over something at work one day. One text a while back said "why are you not gay? Damn the kind of woman I'm looking for." I even went out with her and 2 of her friends (lesbian couple) one friday night to a karaoke lounge and I found out during our Thursday phone call that she had known all month I've liked her--which made me feel good knowing that she knew all along and still flirted back--and that Friday night I was leaning into her arm that was draped around the back of my chair without realizing it and she told me she wasn't sure what to think the first couple of times but then when she noticed I didn't realize I was doing it she started keeping it there. And one of the friends told her she could tell I liked her. Anyway lol I really do think she feels the same about me but is just as scared as I am and doesn't know what to do next. She's also nervous--she told me--because she would be the first woman I'd be with (and i am a virgin and she knows this) and she said it is scary as hell the first time you're with a woman. But she also keeps saying that she thinks I might just have a crush on her but I don't. I love her. She's my first and last thought everyday. How do I prove I love her without making it uncomfortable for her? Or should I just see how things develop between us once she's better?
I don't think you have scared her off.. If she is sick in hospital with pneumonia, then her mind isn't going to be concentrated on anything like that anyway and even though it may not have scared her off, I think a lot of people wouldn't want to feel in debt to someone else with something as big as medical bills or medication. You might not see it that way, that she needs to pay you anything back or do anything in return, but personal things like medical bills are something a lot of people would have trouble asking even family for help with, so I think just don't take it too personally and respect that although you offered the help, she has politely declined. I don't think it's anything to do with what may be going on with you two though. She is probably more worried about her own situation at the moment. I think maybe wait a few days and then text her and ask her how she is. Being sick in hospital, she might not feel up to answering a lot of text messages or being on the phone taking to people.. Maybe just ask when she is up to visitors, you would like to visit her if that is okay and then bring her flowers and a card.
Thank you. She actually only had to stay overnight (Saturday night) and she's back home now. A few hrs ago I saw where she had liked a quote I posted on Facebook so we must still be OK if she's still liking my stuff so I think I'll keep texting her; you know like one time a day right now just to check on her but I'm not going to overload her with texts. Just gonna ask her how she's feeling. When she first started getting sick I did the same thing and she thanked me for checking on her so I don't want her to think I don't care anymore. Without her meds I don't know how she's going to get better but I wish she would soon. Kills me she feels this bad. But once she does get better I hope we can find time to sit down and really talk about all this ---------- Post added 13th Oct 2014 at 05:24 AM ---------- And the quote she liked was "sometimes the things you are most afraid of are the things that make you the happiest"
That's good she is back at home resting now. I hope she is able to the medication that she needs to help her get better, pneumonia can be hard on your body. I think it is a good idea to limit the amount of texts you send, I have a friend who is going through a lot right now and I found the more I texted him asking if he was okay, the more he began distancing himself from me cause I think he was bothered by me asking all the time, so maybe one a day or even one every other day maybe. She is possibly getting a lot of texts and phone calls from a lot of other people checking on her too, so just be aware of that too and don't bombard her. I get really annoyed when people always ask me how I am when I am not feeling good especially if she is having to repeat over and over to a lot of people. She will also exhausted and wanting a lot of sleep too and her body will need it, so don't feel frustrated if she doesn't message you back straight away or for a while.. Just let her know you are there for her and if when she is up to having company, you would be more then happy to go and visit for a while. When she is feeling up to it, maybe you can have a talk about everything then, I just think let her get over this illness first as it would be the priority for now. (*hug*)
I didn't think about that. Makes sense. What about this: if I see that she's gotten on Facebook and posted to her wall, meaning she's awake, you think it would be OK to ask her how she is? Or don't send her anything today & wait til tomorrow? Just don't want her thinking I don't care
I can understand not wanting her to think you don't care, I think perhaps If she has posted something on her wall, maybe just wait 10 or 20 mins or so, so she doesn't think you are stalking her page and just then send her a text, maybe not actually asking her how she is, but just saying, "Just thought I'd let you know I'm thinking of you and hope you are feeling a little better this morning". I find that approach is a little better as it is not a direct question, but more of a statement that you hope she is feeling better.
Thank you. And no, no stalking lol. My phone just always buzzes when my friends post to their walls which is how I know when she does
