I'm pansexual. And bigendered. But my family doesn't know yet. I tried to tell them during last Christmas, but I got laughed at by one of my older sisters and called "disgusting" by my mother. My sister is a lesbian, and my mom makes snide remarks about her all the time, behind her back. It's terrible. After I confessed, I immediately laughed and said I was joking. I couldn't do it. At my best friend's house, she jokingly called me a lesbian in front of her mom, who said that if she was serious, I would have to leave; she wouldn't allow a lesbian in her house or near her daughter. I've only told a few of my friends, but I'm afraid that they may be weirded out by that. I mean, they're accepting of the LGBTQ+ community - supportive, even - but I'm afraid that they'll see me differently if I were to officially come out. What do I do? I started high school this year, and I want to start being expressive of my gender identity, but I'm just so scared. Help, please?
Hi there and Welcome first of all.. I am sorry to hear that you have had a bad experience at your first attempt to come out. It must be a terrible feeling to feel like you can't be yourself around your own family. Is it something you could confide to your best friend or is she of the same opinion as her own mother as well? I wonder what her reasoning for even joking around and saying you were a lesbian was for? I find that strange that if she is or even her mother is homophobic and she knew her mother was, that she would out you even as a joke to her. Have you spoken to your sister whom is a lesbian? Would you feel you can confide in her perhaps? She will most likely know what you are going through and I am sure if she is a lesbian, she will support you through this time as well, otherwise take your time.. You don't need to come out till you are ready, so don't feel you need to force yourself to come out before you are ready.. However if you feel you are ready, then I think tell people whom you think will understand and be supportive.. And if anyone you do tell feels uncomfortable or awkward, then it might be something they need to just get used to or if they can't accept it and can't support you, then you might need to rethink if they are a true friend. There is always the risk of people not accepting the news well, so it is something you need to really think about and think if you are ready for whatever might happen from people knowing of your true sexual and gender orientation.
