Ever since coming out to a few people at work, some people are trying not to be alone with me, avoiding the bathroom if I'm going in or turning around if they see me in it. Also coworkers who work directly in my area are coming in as late as possible to avoid being alone with me (I come in early every day) if no one else is there but me when they get in they go in the kitchen or smoking area until someone gets in. They are timing their breaks and trying to leave for the day together. It's quite obvious they're trying not to be alone with me. Others have been very supportive or just didn't care after I came out. Its kind of funny because I would never be interested in anyone at my work, especially these particular morons. I know that most of the people doing this have the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old but its still very distressing.
How recent did you come out at work? It might all be a phase and its their way of adjusting. When I came out at work, for the most part everyone was fine with it. But even some of my closest workmates were not accustomed to having a gay workmate, let alone even know anyone gay. For a few months, there was a bit of unease from some of them, but after a bit of time, everyone settled down and it not longer seems to be an issue whatsoever.
Got it. Very early days. Have some patience and let things settle. Not to diminish the environment you see yourself in, there is a chance that some of what you are percieving is related to your heightened sensitivities in light of your recent coming out. Some of it also is real no doubt. If it were me (as it was previously), I would be yourself for the time being and see how things settle over the upcoming weeks and months so long as you do not perceive any undue risks.
My guess is that it will get better over time. I work in a very sort of old-boy field (financial services and sales)--in my pier group, not only my office but my entire market, I believe I'm the only out person. And I've never had issues--sometimes it takes a little time for people to acclimate to the idea (in my case I think it really is because I'm working with a lot of people who somehow don't know any out gay people--also I don't really read as gay in general). In my experience sometimes people really just aren't sure how to act--they really don't want to do anything inappropriate--so the best thing to do is just actively show that you are comfortable with them knowing. I can usually tell when someone is finally really alright with it when they can joke about it--one of the easiest ways to help people get to that point is to show them it's alright by joking about it yourself. I really do think things will get better--I certainly hope so...
I agree with the others, just give it a little more time. When I came out at work it was about six to eight weeks before everyone settled down, including me. Now two years latter it's as though it never happened. Good luck.
