So I'm a freshman, and I identify?(don't know if that's the right term) as gay. I'm not really closeted, a lot of my friends know. The problems not there. The problem is when certain people ask me. I play lacrosse, and a few people know (I'm defense, so most if not all of the defense in my age group know, except for one of the goalies.) So when others ask, Like the other positions or other athletes ask, I get at a standstill. I really don't wanna answer. A couple of them found out when I finally said yes, and I think it's going around the school, but I just can't bring myself to answer. One of my buds said that I shouldn't be scared, and for like a week just not care, and out myself to anyone who asks, but that's kinda hard. Any advice?
Hey GayLaxer, welcome to EC! This reminds me of a thread that was started in the LGBT Later in Life section: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/155011-when-does-coming-out-actually-end.html Being out is mainly about not caring what others think (of course, this is only half true: you do need to be safe, and proper judgment is always required). Have as an initial policy (assuming you are in a safe place with that person) that you will always be honest when asked if you are gay. You may also banter with them first, and ask them if they are straight. Ultimately however, this is not a normal question that people ask of others, it could be seen as a little intrusive, so before you answer, you may want to ask in response: "why do you ask?". This question almost immediately puts the questioner in a more defensive position, it gives you a certain advantage in that conversation.
